Why do people change? Do we decide to change or do we just wake up one morning changed? Do we recognize when we change? Are we able to control how much to change? Do we even like change?
Lots of questions come to mind with this topic. It’s probably one of my favourite subjects to talk about. Why? Because I am a living proof of ‘Change’. The good thing about my changes is that I am usually aware of them when they occur. Sometimes I change because I feel the need to become a better person, other times I find myself changing with the experiences I go through. Sadly there were some changes that were beyond my control at the time and I was not happy about it, but I found a way to cope with it. Overall I am content with the changes that occurred over the course of my life so far. I wouldn’t change a thing about the changes that I lived even the ones that had a negative outcome.
I think people change usually without intending to. Life seems to take us in different directions and with that thought only, change is inevitable. The key here is what do we do when we recognize that we are in the process of changing who we were. Some people are not comfortable with new things, new situations, new experiences. Some people feel better in their comfort zone with the same things they are used to for all of their lives.
Examples of that might be: the place you live – from house to town to city to country, also the people around you, your place of work, your field of work, the food you eat, the places you like to visit, the shows you like to watch, your clothing style, and your lifestyle on the whole.
We seem to take these things for granted sometimes and we do not realize how much we have changed since we were kids to the age we are in now. As I am thinking of all these things, I gotta admit that nothing stayed the same with me – it all changed … mostly my choice and very little was imposed on me. I believe it is healthy for us to stop every once in a while and take a good look at our life and assess our changes. See what is good and what is not, possibly make a conscious decision in changing to the better if we feel the need to and if we have to change ourselves back to an earlier time where things made more sense and felt more right. Absolutely nothing wrong with taking a deep look into our hearts and minds and confronting ourselves with the truth even if it is cruel and definitely having the courage to admit to ourselves that we are in need for a change and finally to actually do what is necessary to be in a better state.
Change is a process as I just explained it. I don’t think change happens overnight although there are times when it seems like it. I may be wrong in my thoughts but I feel strongly about what I am saying. May be because I lived through several changes, that is why I know; that when people changed around me, it was gradual and you can sometimes almost predict it. Not that I could ever predict my changes …. but always easier to see it and point it out in others around us.
Sometimes, changes in our lives occurs when we least expect it and there are times when they are beneficial and at times they hold us back. We need to be able to notice that – we need to make a better effort in controlling some of those changes, especially in our personalities.
I specify personality because I witnessed some of the closest people to me get affected and influenced by others around them to the point that they are now unrecognizable. Why? Because first of all they allowed themselves to be weak and forgot who they were to begin with, second because they seem to have given up on themselves, third because they are lost inside, fourth because they do not know what else to do and my fifth and last reason is because they are overpowered by the source of influence in their lives.
I really don’t think we can sit here and decide: ‘we will never change’. That is unrealistic, and totally impossible. As long as we do not have control over what happens around us (which is true), then changes will occur whether we like them or not. How we roll with the punches, however, IS up to us. Besides, can you imagine a world where everything stayed the same and nothing changed?? I know I would go crazy… wouldn’t you??
I leave you with a poem that I have written years ago – I was in my early teens when I wrote it and every time I read it – it affects me. I hope you like it:
Change, Change, Change.
How many times do people change?
Do they ever think which way
They’re heading or which range?
How many do realize it?
How many do admit it?
How many just deny it?
And say “I’ll never change”.
No matter with who you stay,
You must know you can change.
Change, Change, Change.
Why do people change?
It happens to people so close to you.
And even it could just happen to you.
How awful it feels to think of!
How terrifying it is to go through!
You can never transfer back,
To where you were before.
Unless you really lack,
Something you’re looking for.
Change, Change, Change.
There’s still no answer to how and why we change.