A true story of my life….
To be honest, to be truthful, to be susceptible to judgement and scrutiny, to be yourself,
to be transparent, to have integrity, to have morals, to live by principles. All these thoughts come to mind when the word Honesty comes up. We don’t normally think about whether we want to be honest or not. It’s either in us or it’s not. It’s when you are faced with a situation that you find yourself having to live with the consequences of your honesty or lack thereof.
We can all tell lies. We can even live a lie. We can lie so much about anything and everything, but then what would be real in our lives anymore? Why do we lie? Why do we choose to live without conviction? Why do we justify the reasons behind our dishonesty.
You think when you lie to someone, that it just ends there. You felt you needed to save yourself in that situation because you knew it would not end well. You fear the result of telling the truth. But you fail to understand that the first person you are lying to is yourself. You need to be able to live with yourself knowing you did the right thing, even if it was costly. You will not always get what you want, when you want it and how you want it. Whether you are honest or not, you need to be aware that at the end of the day what is meant to be will be. If it is meant for you, you will have it even when you are honest about something that would crucify you.
The problem here is not so much that we lie, it is that we think we can get away with our faults and mistakes unpunished. Sometimes, we need to be punished. By that I mean, we may need a wake up call to save us from ourselves. We can be so self righteous at times and we need to get a reality check. Maybe we have been living in a fantasy and we need to come back to reality. Maybe we needed to learn who in our lives are willing to forgive our mistakes and who are not capable of it. Maybe you needed to be reminded of what’s really important. All these things are our own lessons to learn as we are faced with telling the truth or telling a lie.
It is true when they say: “Truth frees you” And yes it may free you with a price to pay. Nothing in life is free, so why would Honesty be any different.
Being honest, does free you. It frees you from guilt, from regret, from self torture. It is better for you in the long run to let go of your fears about the consequences and take responsibility for your own actions and decisions. It’s like a needle prick. Just get it over with then you can try to deal with the aftermath.
You cannot predict how the other person will react when they hear the truth. But that does not mean you keep changing your values with every situation or person. Let them react however they choose to. You need to remain the same at all times – truthful. You cannot control the way people think and thus it is not right to cater to their various mentalities. People react differently based on many factors. It can be the mood they are in, it can be their level of understanding, or lack of it at times, it can be their upbringing, their own values, and it can also be based on their own personal opinion. Not everyone deals with a situation in the same manner. We are all different. We have the right to BE; as a matter of fact. There is no one right way of handling things. There is no book that says do this and do that. And even if there were such a book, where is your mind? Where is your individuality? Who said we all must live our lives in one way. It’s all about our personal choices. It’s what we feel comfortable with. It’s who we are at the end of the day.
Recently, I was faced with a situation, where telling the truth cost me dearly. I don’t even feel I was wrong in anything I did. However I was judged and punished for being who I am and above all for being honest. I was honest and I lost. I got hurt. But I don’t regret being honest. I just wish it didn’t hurt so much. I keep thinking:”was I wrong?” There I go with self doubt, second guessing myself. But the inner part of me knows the truth. I know.
This was not the first time I was hurt by telling the truth. It happens a lot. And I see a pattern here. Every time I am honest, I loose. Or so it seems at the moment. I realize later that its not my loss, it’s the people that don’t appreciate my honesty and therefore it is probably for my best interest that they are no longer in my life. Because I deserve better than that. I deserve to be appreciated for the good qualities that I have. And if those people don’t see it, then I am really better off without them.
Moreover, it frustrates me when I open myself up and I become so vulnerable, expecting some respect from those I love. In return; what do I get? I guess I don’t need to elaborate on that. I am so disappointed in the people that treated me so horribly wrong, when all I ever did was give them my heart and they easily step on it just because I am being an honest person. I am patient and I am forgiving, but there is a limit to how much abuse I will take. All I need is for them to say: “I’m sorry for judging you” and I will forgive them for all the pain they put me through. But who am I kidding, I can’t hold my breath on that.
In closing, I say to you HONESTLY, that honesty IS the best policy. Even if you loose the whole world because they don’t approve of your choices in life and actions you take. At least you gain one person in the end and its the only one that really counts and that is YOU! Be honest, eventually you will reap what you sow. I can’t wait for that to happen to me.
“Honesty is the best policy. If I lose mine honor, I lose myself” William Shakespeare
“If you truly want honesty, don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answer to” Proverb Quotes
“The TRUTH: It may not lead you to where you thought you were going, but it will always lead you somewhere better. When ignored, it will eventually show itself. The closeness of your relationships is directly proportional to the degree to which you have revealed the truth about yourself. It can
be painful.” Unknown Author
Honesty and Truth vs Mind Games and Relationship Games … I still can’t understand which one, in the very end, wins.