Living or Worrying about your image??

Here is a question I would like you to ask yourself from time to time. Are you living your life the way you want to or are you living it according to how it will be accepted by others around you? Do you change yourself, do you stop yourself, do you feel trapped at times? Do you worry about your image and how people will look at you? Do you allow this to control you?? I hope you all stop and think about this. This is serious business.

I definitely do. Being the rebel that I am, according to “some people”, whom I will not mention, I focus more on what I want and what would make me happy rather than worrying about what this person will say about me or how that person will think of me and so on. I really do not care how people think of me.  It is their opinion and they are entitled to it. People will always judge each other. They will always talk about one another either in their face or behind their back.  People will talk about you whether you like it or not, whether you are aware of it or not. Some will say great things about you and some will say the worst things you can imagine.  So why would I concern myself with what people say.  Some people are bitter, some are jealous, some are miserable and we all know how misery loves company. Some may have psychological issues and no matter what you do, it is not acceptable. Are you going to live your life according to those kind of people? Really now!! Most of the times though, people say what they say because it is what they believe in.  And who am I to question what anyone believes in.  It is your right to believe what you want, think what you want, live however you want.  What does that have to do with the way I do my thing. We are all different. We will always be different. What is important for me, will not be the same for you. What is acceptable to me, may not be acceptable to you. So I will just respect you and the things you choose to do and all I ask is you do the same for me. It is as simple as that.  Ultimately, if you feel the need to gossip and talk about someone because it makes you feel good about yourself, then go ahead, nothing stops you, that is your choice. As for me, I will not allow your possible opinion of me; because it is what you choose to think is right or wrong, affect my decisions or influence me in the way I live my life. I think that is very logical, don’t you?

Now I know I may sound angry a little bit, and maybe I am.  My tone may be a little harsh here and there is a reason behind it.  I have been badgered about my choices in my life whether it be big or small by the closest people to me.  The ones whom I would expect to understand the kind of person I am by now.  The ones who should know how I think, why I do the things I do and even if not completely understand, at least respect me for my choices.  Maybe even have faith in me and in my behaviour.  How about a little bit of trust that I know what I am doing and even if I make mistakes, then I am very well capable of dealing with the consequences of my choices.  I don’t sound angry at all now, do I?? I am just disappointed. I really am. I don’t get it. How is it possible that people who I just meet make the effort to understand me, get me, accept me for who I am and support me in whatever I do.  And yes they may love me too.  On the other hand, those whom I have known all my life and those who have seen me grow, fall down and get back up time and time again, are not able to get me, or accept me, or love me just the way I am.  I really wish I knew the answer to this question.  It is one that has bothered me for years. I try to convince myself in so many ways that things are just the way they are. I try to find an explanation that maybe I am wrong somehow. Maybe I shouldn’t want to be accepted or trusted, or understood or loved unconditionally – especially from those who I want it from so badly.

Be that as it may, the point here is that, as individuals, we are all entitled to be who we want to be.  We have the right to think how we want, live how we want, make decisions that we can be comfortable living with, not according to what society accepts or according to other people’s opinions. As long as you are not hurting anyone (intentionally), offending anyone (intentionally), or causing harm to anyone; then you have the right to be, do, say and live just the way you are. It is not healthy to suppress yourself and behave only according to what is acceptable around you.  People will always make their own rules, and they will change them when it doesn’t suit their needs, so why are you following in other people’s rules? Where are your rules? Where are your desires? Where are your needs? I emphasized on the word “intentionally” earlier because it is not in your control how other people feel.  For example: you may wear a bikini on the beach – that is totally an acceptable thing to do on the beach – there you are sun bathing or swimming; doing nothing disrespectful – however, there may be one or two individuals on that beach that may get offended – simply because their beliefs and values do not allow this.  So you have offended this person, but not intentionally.  You get my point I think.

Often times we find ourselves in situations that require us to adapt or make some changes out of respect for others, and that is totally fine, as long as it is our choice and we are doing that with conviction.  However, when you change yourself just to please others, you will never be happy.  Follow your own dreams, choose your own path,  find your own passion, live your own life, and be your own person. Finally, be proud of who you are and the accomplishments of your life. What is small in other’s eyes, may be big in yours, so don’t let anyone belittle you. How you feel and what you experience is what really counts. As a friend of mine once said: “your problem is YOUR problem, it’s not mine to deal with.”

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