The “COMPARISONS” Lesson Part 2

Previously, I emphasized on comparing ourselves to others around us and how we allow our surroundings to affect us.  Now I want to focus on another type of comparisons we encounter in our lives.  We all do it. Sometimes even without realizing. It may be beneficial at times but most times, it doesn’t help us one bit.

I’m talking about comparing people from your past to the ones in your present. I’m also talking about comparing things you used to have or experience in the past and now it is different.  Generally speaking, we tend to start comparing when we no longer have what we once had and we are missing it in our current state.  You may compare your current good state to your previous bad state and be thankful for becoming better.  However, in most cases, it is when we lose something that was better then, and now we have it worse. So we compare.  Not that it will get us anywhere, but we do it anyways.

We compare materials for example, you think of the house you lived in back around your childhood days to the one you live in now, may it be still with your parents or you are now on your own.  You compare the happy times you once had during your childhood and school days to what you are living now, whatever stage that might be.  You always tend to go back in time and remember the good times. You will remember some bad too, but you will focus more on the good because you have more of the bad now anyways. You wish you can go back in time and relive those moments and you say to yourself, life was better back then.  And it may be true. It may have been better according to the stage of life you were in. Now, we are different. Changes do happen. And they are not always to the better.

People go through many changes in their lifetime, starting from being born to being retired.  Once upon a time, we were little; that we are no more.  Once upon a time, we had no worries; that we have so much of.  Once upon a time, there was laughter and joy; that comes every once in a while and we are lucky if it comes at all. And for some it may be the other way around. It may be better in so many ways, but you will always go back in memory and think of the old times. Changes are constantly happening. The person you were yesterday, is no longer the person you are today.  The life you lived yesterday is not the life you live today. The things you once owned yesterday, you may not own it today. So why would it be any different that the people you knew yesterday, are not the same people you know today.

Evidently, we do not keep everyone we meet in our lives forever. Some do stay; but they are rare and you must cherish them.  However, take a good look at the people in your life today.  How many were there more than 5 years ago, possibly even less.  Now if you have people who you know 10, 15 and even more years, that is awesome.  Let us not forget your age will play a factor in this equation too. So what do we tend to do when we meet new people and they become part of our lives on different levels.  Well, we compare them to the ones from before.  We point out what they lack usually because we miss the qualities and the characteristics of the previous people that once upon a time were close to you.

We compare our lovers, our best friends, our co-workers, our bosses, our maids (if we were lucky to have one to begin with), our drivers (also if we ever had one), our assistants (if we had our own business) .. etc. The list can go on and on.  I am trying to have you see the big picture here. Every one you deal with on a day-to-day basis; excluding your family (cause they never change … or leave), once upon a time were not there, there was someone else in their place, playing that role in your life. And you don’t know it sometimes, but you compare them, even if it’s just in your head. You may not be fair at times and you may slip up and hurt them by saying something which will make them aware that they are being compared.  No one likes to be compared. It puts a lot of pressure on the person, as they try to live up to your expectation, but they never do … because they are different. You cannot expect the new person to be the same as the previous one.  They may come close, but they are never the same.  And it is your duty to not make them feel inadequate or that they are not good enough.  Everyone has something special about them.  They are unique in their own way. And you must accept them, love them and cherish them as long as they are in your life. You never knew the previous ones would not be there anymore. You just do not know who will stay for a long time and who will leave your life for either known or unknown reasons.

I admit that I compare as well.  I do it subconsciously.  But when I catch myself doing it, I try to correct my train of thoughts.  I know I do not like it if someone were to compare me to someone else, so I must not do it too.  Besides, I take every personality I meet in my life as a blessing.  They were all meant to be different, so I can experience different things, so I would learn different lessons; so that it would make me a better person in the end. Even if I do not see it at the time, in my heart, I believe it is for my best interest.

Therefore lesson of the day is to appreciate everyone in your life today, because you do not know what tomorrow will bring you.  You do not know how long this person is meant to be in your life. You do not know the lessons you will learn from them being in your life. You do not know if the person you are underestimating, may be the one true person in your life and in fact, may be the only one to save your life one day.  You just never know.  Instead of comparing – be grateful. You may not be totally happy as you once were. You may not have the best things you once had. You may not be with the one person you really wanted to be with.  But you are still here, you are still alive and well even with all the ups and downs and you are still loved by many and for that you must be eternally grateful. Love the person you are, accept the things you lost and embrace the changes that keep on happening to you .. it’s a blessing.

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