What if …

Don’t you wish that your life would have a happy ending just like some movies do. Don’t you wish that the character in that movie was you. How many times in our lives we keep taking different turns and each lead us to a different outcome. Sometimes you wonder “what if?”

What ifs are generally not the best approach. It doesn’t change what happened. But it does give you a perspective. As you go back in time and retrace your significant events; which led to the turning points in your life, you realize that without certain events occurring, whether you like it or not, your life would have taken a different turn.

In some scenarios, your life may change drastically, and in others may be a slow progress. Nevertheless, your life is constantly changing. Nothing stays the same. Look around you today, the life you live is most likely different from a couple of years ago. You may have some people in your life that remain constant but you will also have those whom have left and those whom just entered.

So asking yourself the question of “what if?” may not be so bad after all. It helps you see things clearer. As long as you don’t dwell on it. You are able to look at the big picture, only if your intention of using this method to be constructive. On the other hand, you can be digging yourself into a hole that you can’t get yourself out of.

So what if I never decided to go out that day.. What if I stayed home instead. I pushed myself and I got dressed and I went out. And there I meet someone who changed my life forever.

What if I never applied for this job. What if I never looked in the newspaper to begin with. What if I wasn’t vulnerable. What if my life wasn’t messed up. What if I never said ok to invite a friend of a friend that I never met. What if I never got close to a colleague and shut myself off. What if I never dreamed big. What if I thought I wasn’t capable of doing something. What if I allowed what my family said to me affect me. What if I wasn’t a loving person. What if I wasn’t nurturing. What if I never had dimples. What if I wasn’t romantic.

What if all that I wanted came true, I would have been married and divorced a couple of times. I would have had a child by now. I would be living a different life, with different people around me. I would probably be unsatisfied that I’m missing something or that I didn’t get exactly what I want when I want. That’s because life is not perfect. Not everything you want is good for you. And so not every experience is meant for you to live. Sometimes you are at the beginning of the road and you see all the way to the end. And that doesn’t make you happy, so you turn and look at the closest thing to this road and you just take it without looking at it all the way. You are scared to see what’s at the end this time. You wonder if you will ever get it right. So you decide to just have blind faith and take it anyways. And whatever happens … Happens… Maybe the road had blocks along the way, you tried to overcome it but it didn’t go your way. I say it wasn’t the right time. Or maybe the road just disappeared between one day and night, it was not your choice, but now you have to deal with it anyway. I say that’s God saving you from yourself and all that ends without your control is for your best interest in the end.

I stand here today and I admit that I think of a lot of what ifs … Not in regret … But in giving thanks to God. I was blessed with some of the most beautiful people in my life because of these what ifs. Even though being at the right place at the right time is important, however there is also the chain of events that led me to get close to these people. They all saw something in me. They all fell in love with the real me. They all got to understand me, accept me and appreciate me. What more can I ask for. I am truly blessed to know the closest people in my life. If you are reading this. I am saying to you out loud … Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for giving me your love. You know who you are, your heart will feel me.

My birthday is only hours away and I couldn’t ask for a better state of mind or heart or soul than the one I am in now. Even with all the pain, the heartache, the agony. Because on the other hand, God has given me true love. The love of my family and my dear friends. As for my romantic life, well, I still miss you my love. You are still in my heart and on my birthday, I think of you even though you are miles away. I won’t cry … I will smile because I have all that I need for now. My life is complete because I choose to feel this way. So what if I were to close my eyes and imagine my life complete just the way I envision it….

To Be Continued ….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s