Improvement

Inspired by a conversation with one of my dear friends, I decided to explore our most common areas of improvement. And the question I am hoping to get answered: Are there any limitations on things we can improve on?

First of all, let’s discuss the need for improvement. Why do we improve? Some may say because that’s a part of life, others say because we are not happy with the current situation, some say we are supposed to, and others may also say it’s a choice we may all have to make at some point in life. So the key here is whether we choose to improve or stay the same. When we choose the path to improve or become better, it is because we are in touch with our inner self and realize the need to make a change in ourselves to have a better outcome and in result; a happier life. Sometimes when we do not choose this path, it can be because we do not see that we need to do or be better. We can be content just the way we are, or we can be stuck in our own views and opinions and refuse the possibility of change, or we can even be uncomfortable with making changes. We like to be and we like things just the way they are, the way it’s always been, even if it’s not the best of situations.

Having said that, what are the most common things we improve on? We can improve our skills and we can improve ourselves. By ourselves I mean our qualities, our characteristics, our habits, our morals and values; in other words, the core of who we are. And by our skills I mean the things we are capable of doing in our daily lives and the way we handle all kinds of situations we get to face.

Let me give some examples on both types. Let’s start with some skills we have the tendency to improve on. There is the skill of communication, one of the most important ones, one of those things we all use. We can improve with practice, by reading, by listening, by making little changes here and there. The best communicators are the best listeners. When you perfect the art of listening, you will perfect the art of communication. Read on that topic a little more if you feel the need it’s time to improve your communication skills.

Then you got your technical skills. These may not be really detrimental skills to improve on, but in this day and age, it almost feels it is necessary to keep up with technology and how fast it has grown. We use some sort of a machine or electronic device on a daily basis and we must be up to date on its use, it’s pros and cons and so on. You find yourself improving your technical skills more frequently than you even realize. What you knew yesterday is even more today.

And now I will shift your thinking completely and talk about your skills with sex. Oh yes, I said it. You think you don’t improve those skills?? It’s just like everything else, practice makes perfect. You may get a little rusty at times, but you can always pick up where you left it. Having said that, there are certain things when it comes to sex that its either you got it or you don’t. You can get over your shyness, you can be a little more comfortable with “experimenting”, you can be more open about it and not be ashamed of it. But things like the way you feel when you are in that intimate moment or your likes and dislikes, or your view on what it all means .. These things may never change. The person needs to see there is a need to improve and to make the effort to change things in the bedroom. Otherwise, you will end up with compatibility issues and that’s one of the most important ties of a relationship. If it’s not there, it’s not there.

Other skills you may find yourself improving on are things that you like to do and this may include but not limited to: cooking, organizing, drawing, playing an instrument, writing, playing sports …etc.

Now let’s examine some characteristics we may feel the need to improve on, or maybe it just happens without having to make much of an effort.

There are traits like patience that some of us are not born with and we may have to develop more patience as we grow older and become more mature. Also you may improve your attitude problem. You may have the tendency to get snappy or defensive as a reaction to a comment or whatever it is that triggers this behavior. With practice and with certain exercises I am positive it can be under control.

Another major trait you may improve on is closer to your spirit than in the physical world. Whatever your beliefs are or were, if any, may change with time. Usually when we go through a dramatic experience that changes our lives forever, we tend to either get more spiritual or the exact opposite. Each person deals with things differently. But in most cases I have seen, that people tend to get closer to God or get in touch with their inner self when all fails. It is the need to find peace that pushes us towards that direction. And we constantly improve on that. There really is no limit.

Unfortunately, not everything can be improved. Sometimes it is what it is. But there is no harm in at least recognizing it and trying your best to make yourself better. And this should not be limited to any time frame. It is an ongoing process. We improve as we take in each breath of air.

Best ways to improve are:

– talk with people, you always learn from them when you least expect it

– read books, articles, whatever you like. The more you educate yourself, the more you will grow

– allow yourself to think for yourself. Following the majority is not always right

– believe in yourself, in your capabilities to change. Remove the word can’t and impossible from your vocabulary. Substitute with more positive words. You will see the difference.

These things I personally do. I have improved big time. I changed in so many ways and in so many aspects of my life that people who knew me in my adolescent years, cannot recognize me anymore. And thank God, the change is for the better. Even the most difficult things I would like to change about myself. I will not give up. If I don’t change, I know this much, that I will die trying.

“We may have a perfectly adequate way of doing something, but that does not mean there cannot be a better way. So we set out to find an alternative way. This is the basis of any improvement that is not fault correction or problem solving.” ~ Edward De Bono

“Let us strive to improve ourselves, for we cannot remain stationary; one either progresses or retrogrades.” ~ Mme. Du Deffand

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