Haven’t we all loved at some point in our lives and haven’t we all lost our love at times; or so we thought. Some of us may be lucky and find love at an early age and even more lucky to be the one and only love your whole life. Some of us may not be so lucky; may find love, but loose it along the way. We all try to move on with our lives and find love again. We don’t always find the one we are meant to be with right away. Some of us succeed, and some never do.
It’s funny how we all live on the same planet, but live our lives differently and our wants and needs and views on life and love also differs. Some people believe you can only love once in your life. Some believe you must look for your soul-mate and that’s the only person you will be happy with. The truth is, and I talk from my own life experience, that you can love more than once but they are all different from one another. You will never have two identical loves in your life. It may come close, it may provide you with what you need, with what you are looking for, but it will never be the same. After all, you are falling in love with two different people, so how can the experience be the same.
I am not claiming I am an expert when it comes to love, it really is a tough topic to discuss and even tougher to understand. But I do know this, I was born to love and be loved. I believe every person is the same. It’s whether we make the choice to live according to our destiny or fight against it. We all make this choice at some point in our lives. We decide our own destiny by deciding to love or not to love. When you choose to keep love as part of your life, it’s amazing the things you can do.
With that said, I believe it’s not easy to find your soul mate. But it all boils down to one thing; the way you choose to live your life. If you follow your heart, you will find true love. If you allow society and the circumstances around you to make your choices for you, then there is a big chance you will not find it. Your heart knows what it desires, your heart feels its way through life, your heart can guide you to the right place: HOME. We all think home is a place. The one we go to sleep, eat, shower, be comfortable and refuge from the outside world. Finding true love is home. That’s really where you can find your refuge from the world.
There are always reasons why certain love stories end. They all vary from things outside your control to things you may be the cause of yourself. Circumstances can break you and it can also bring you together. Fate plays a big role as well. You may try to stay away but somehow, someway, you meet again. The internal struggle is always there. You try to convince yourself that it’s over and it will never work out, so why try again? But then there is something inside you that won’t let go. You are being pulled towards the thing your heart desires, but your mind is pulling you away from that exact thing because it fears the outcome will not be to your best interest. However, when your love never leaves your life, or your heart even when you separate; when your love grows with time instead of diminish; when your love exists whether you are aware of it or not; when friendship is the foundation of that love; when your life is stormy and you have no one to comfort you, you turn to your love; to your one and only true love.
Life can be really strange sometimes. It gives you happiness and it takes it away at the same time. It is hard to have it all. Maybe it is possible. Some of us have not been able to master the skills of getting what our heart wants without paying a hefty price. We are even willing to put ourselves through tragedies just to hold on to love. Especially when you know how hard it is to find. If you find true love once, that’s great. Now if you find it one more time, that’s surreal. And if you haven’t found your happily ever after by now, the third true love will be an absolute miracle. But who said miracles don’t happen.
When I was younger, I used to say the words: “impossible”, “can’t”, “no way”, now I believe that anything is possible and that there is always a way to get to where you want to be. No one ever said it would be easy; there is a way nonetheless. We all have choices to make in our lives. Every day we are faced with making a decision that will directly or indirectly affect the rest of our lives. The small things as they add up, make up the big picture of what our lives will look like.
When it comes to love, there are several types of it. You may have experienced only one type your whole life and you may have experienced a couple of them. There is no wrong or right love. Love is just love. Your actions because of that love is what you will be accountable for. If your love nourishes you in some way … it is a healthy love. If your love destroys you in some way … it is not a healthy love. At the end of it, you choose whether to keep it or walk away from it. Either way, it is you who have to live with the consequences of your decision. Having said that; who am I kidding, when have we been able to walk away from love even when it destroys us. “Love is blind”. Such a true statement. Something tells me we all know it is true, since we all experienced it at some point or another. Love can be described as an addiction at times. You can’t live without it. We are in constant search for love, whether we are willing to admit it to ourselves or not; our actions prove it. We crave that feeling of being loved, cared for and having someone constantly close to. You depend on it, you get used to having someone to share your life with. You get to talk about silly stuff that no one else would listen to, you get to complain about everyone that is bothering you, you get to let out your frustrations and anger, you get to experience feelings that relaxes you and releases your tension from all that is going wrong in your life, you find yourself being your true self when you are with your love, you let go of your fears, you feel safe and secure … and so much more. That is why you are always searching for love. It’s the need to complete the missing part in your life. You do not feel complete until you find it. I am not saying it is impossible to live alone, on the contrary, you absolutely can, but you still won’t be complete. And that is the truth.
The process of finding the one that would complete you is a very long process. Like I said earlier, some may get lucky and find it at an early age, but the rest of us have to search for a long time. During that time, we learn about ourselves, what we really want, what makes us happy, what we need from our love, what we are willing to accept and what we won’t settle with. All of our experiences with love are not in vain, because they will lead you to the right choice in the end.
Sometimes, the right love, is an old love; your first love at times, your one and only true love. The one that no matter how much time passes, no matter the distance, no matter who you have been with or loved after, the feelings are still there with the same intensity as it once was. The love has grown and has taken a new shape but with the same sweet taste. This kind of pure love, the one that you cannot explain, you only feel. This is the type of love where communication is not so much with words, the hearts speak to one another when they hug, the eyes tell the story when they meet, the hands express the feelings when they touch, the silence speaks of a love story that will never die. My words cannot even describe the true feelings of this love, because this love is indescribable. It is only to be lived for that moment, and the moment lives on forever as the memory never leaves. True love never dies, it grows with time. Together or apart, near or far, true love lives on in the pure hearts. Lucky are those who find true love, cause it only happens once in a lifetime. Whether they end up together forever or living separate lives, they were lucky to have found this love, lived the moment with all its intensity, experienced what every man and woman wishes to find .. True Love.
As I am writing this, I smile but at the same time I am thinking to myself: What if I never found my true love, because now any love that comes after is second best. It is not right to compare and you can never substitute one love with another. Each love is unique and has its own sweetness. It isn’t fair I know. Every time I think a love comes close enough to my true love, I try to hold on to it, but the more I grasp tight, the more I am pushing it away. Maybe because deep down I know, my true love is still waiting for me.
My true love is one of a kind, my true love cannot be described, my true love is hard to find. So here I go searching for love close enough to my true love. And as I get my heart-broken again and again, I ask myself: why am I not fighting for my one and only true love when I know no matter the love I find after, will never be enough.