Is he really “just a friend”?

I have seen it in the movies, I have witnessed it in real life and I experienced it personally. Things aren’t always what they seem. You always wonder is he really my friend? Or is he waiting for something more?

Do you have that guy friend who is always around? The one that is so sweet, so kind, so understanding, so giving, so available at all times. The one that probably cancels his plans to see you without telling you it’s inconvenient. The one who is always there to listen when you complain about life. The one whose arms wrap around you when you are crying from the one that hurt you. He hears you talk and talk about how much you love this man and how he means everything to you and how you are fighting to make things work. He listens and he gives you advice about how you should handle the tough situations. He listens and he tells you how magnificent you are, how much you deserve better, how no one knows your value as he does, how no one sees you like he sees you. He compliments you every chance he gets. He tries to put that smile back on your face.  He listens and he is dying inside and feels your pain because at the end of the day it’s him who truly loves you. He has loved you for so long but can’t tell you. He loves you and the thought of you being with another man is killing him. He loves you but he doesn’t wanna lose you just in case you don’t feel the same. He loves you and doesn’t know what else to do but be there for you anytime you need him, because that is what a man, who truly loves you, would do.

This really does exist. There are those men who are in your life today, that you think is just a friend, but is not. There may be one or more than one in your life, secretly loving you, admiring you from afar, near to your heart yet so far. They have proven time and time again they are dependable, loyal and trustworthy. They know all your dirty little secrets. They even know what you like and don’t like in a relationship because you tell them so honestly because to you, they are just a friend. You don’t hold back anything. You are like an open book to them. They know what your favorite color is, your favorite book, you favorite movie, you favorite meal, all to your favorite sex position. Oh yeah. He is your best “Guy Friend” after all. There are no boundaries. He knows all he needs to know from all the things you blabbed on over the years. And he stuck around all this time, never judging you, never looking at you differently as you shown your ugly side, never leaving you when you were weak and vulnerable, always there to pick up the pieces. And you think he is just a friend??? Girl, think again!!!

Maybe he is the one you were meant to be with after all. Maybe you love him too just never thought he loved you back in that way because he didn’t say anything. Maybe you are afraid to lose this friendship so you go on looking for someone identical but you never find it. And maybe you are aware of his deep feelings but you don’t feel the same way. Maybe to you he can only be a friend as he is not compatible as a lover. Maybe you love him dearly .. But just as a friend. Because what sparks your heart and desires, he cannot fulfill, simply, it is just not him.

I won’t deny I have been through this myself and it is a struggle. You do not want to hurt their feelings especially when they have been nothing but wonderful. But you can’t force yourself to love someone romantically if you just don’t feel it. There is no right or wrong way in dealing with this dilemma. Some may ignore and hope the topic never comes up. Some discuss it openly and reach a mutual agreement. Some continue to be ignorant and oblivious and that usually leads to more pain on the man’s part. Some friendships will end because one loves the other too much and they just cannot continue pretending anymore.

If we just open our eyes and see what our hearts knew all along. We chase the wrong men most of the time. We always run after the one we love and they usually do not love us back the same way. And we are blind to see the one that worships the ground we walk on and even when we realize it, they are not the one we are looking for. Isn’t that the truth girls??

One comment on “Is he really “just a friend”?

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