Well, I Always believe that we have to think in what makes us happy. Our family, like our parents had their time to decide what they want to do and Now is my time. They have to understand that Im capable and well raised to have a good decision in my life and even if I make a mistake again and again, They have to understand and be happy because I have something and someone special in my life like is “the love of my life”
You are absolutely right. In theory it all makes sense, the hardest part is when you live with the consequences of your decision. There will be pain. There will be loss. You still won’t be happy. It’s not as clean cut as it sounds. But I am with you with everything you said. Thanks for your reply.
How could the “one you love” and your “family” ever need to be chosen between? There’s only 2 scenarios. First, family means your parents and siblings (usually called family of origin) and your life partner is the one you love and they don’t like each other. Then it depends how healthy your family of origin dynamic is as to whether their view should matter at all, but really once you marry your life partner is your primary family especially once you have children. So it’s kind of an irrelevant question in this case.
Second scenario: your choice is between some external partner replacement and your family (life partner and children). Then, that would be shallow, selfish and based on a lot of fantasy and not much reality and frankly you’d be an idiot to choose the external person. At rock bottom, anyone who would want you to break up your family has shown you they are not a good person and therefore that it would be a terrible choice. By definition neither of you are good people if you are in an affair. And won’t be unless and until there’s some serious remorse and reparation, frankly.
I have been blessed to have been raised in a family where our individual choices are our own. Although my parents might comment on a decision I make, especially when I was young and inexperienced, they encouraged our independence. I think the answer in your question lies in how someone is raised and to what extent the family loyalty is entrenched in the wiring of siblings. I find this question to be a selfish one.
It’s an ultimatum. It doesn’t matter where it comes from – it’s a self-serving endeavour. There is no love in this question. The only answer to is to walk away.
livingoutmypurpose 
Well, I Always believe that we have to think in what makes us happy. Our family, like our parents had their time to decide what they want to do and Now is my time. They have to understand that Im capable and well raised to have a good decision in my life and even if I make a mistake again and again, They have to understand and be happy because I have something and someone special in my life like is “the love of my life”
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You are absolutely right. In theory it all makes sense, the hardest part is when you live with the consequences of your decision. There will be pain. There will be loss. You still won’t be happy. It’s not as clean cut as it sounds. But I am with you with everything you said. Thanks for your reply.
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Isn’t that another way of saying do what feels good at the time and damn who it hurts? Sounds very short term and shallow.
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Is this your response to the question posted? or to a particular comment. Can you please clarify? I am curious to your point of view on the subject.
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How could the “one you love” and your “family” ever need to be chosen between? There’s only 2 scenarios. First, family means your parents and siblings (usually called family of origin) and your life partner is the one you love and they don’t like each other. Then it depends how healthy your family of origin dynamic is as to whether their view should matter at all, but really once you marry your life partner is your primary family especially once you have children. So it’s kind of an irrelevant question in this case.
Second scenario: your choice is between some external partner replacement and your family (life partner and children). Then, that would be shallow, selfish and based on a lot of fantasy and not much reality and frankly you’d be an idiot to choose the external person. At rock bottom, anyone who would want you to break up your family has shown you they are not a good person and therefore that it would be a terrible choice. By definition neither of you are good people if you are in an affair. And won’t be unless and until there’s some serious remorse and reparation, frankly.
So a bit of a facile question.
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When you choose to marry, and especially when you choose to have children, you make a new family. They ARE your family. And family comes first.
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I have been blessed to have been raised in a family where our individual choices are our own. Although my parents might comment on a decision I make, especially when I was young and inexperienced, they encouraged our independence. I think the answer in your question lies in how someone is raised and to what extent the family loyalty is entrenched in the wiring of siblings. I find this question to be a selfish one.
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Thank you for your input. what do you mean by selfish? please explain.
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It’s an ultimatum. It doesn’t matter where it comes from – it’s a self-serving endeavour. There is no love in this question. The only answer to is to walk away.
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Great Blog x
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