I don’t believe in perpetrators just getting to “forgive themselves”. It doesn’t work like that. Forgiveness is for victims to give to perpetrators freely, if they want to. There’s no obligation to forgive great injustice or wrongdoing. And yes it totally possible to move on and live in the future without it. You might get benefit from “How can I forgive you?” where Janis Spring writes about how unsatisfactory the culture of requiring forgiveness is. People do terrible things and they need to bear that and (hopefully) use their shame to be better people in future.
I don’t believe in perpetrators just getting to “forgive themselves”. It doesn’t work like that. Forgiveness is for victims to give to perpetrators freely, if they want to. There’s no obligation to forgive great injustice or wrongdoing. And yes it totally possible to move on and live in the future without it. You might get benefit from “How can I forgive you?” where Janis Spring writes about how unsatisfactory the culture of requiring forgiveness is. People do terrible things and they need to bear that and (hopefully) use their shame to be better people in future.
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