You know those times when you get too much a dose of reality; when things seem clearer yet hazier at the same time; when you don’t want to hear the truth anymore because it hurts so much; when you are in disbelief that this is what it comes down to. It is not even by the years you live, or by the experiences you have, or by the people you meet in your life. Yes, all those things are factors in the equation, however, it is by the defining moments in your life in which reality hits you, and this time, you do not run away from it, you do not deny it, you do not justify it, you just take it in and know; this is the reality. Whether it is to your benefit or against you, it is the way it is, people are who they are, things happen as they do, you are in the middle of it either with or without your approval. And this is your reality.
So many of us hide from the truth, although truth is what we claim we want. It is when truth is painful you no longer want it. It is sometimes easier to keep a blind eye to things or to find excuses and reasons for people’s behaviors. Your hurt is much deeper when you open up the curtains, when you remove the blind fold, when you put on your eye-glasses and the light suddenly turns on. These moments you love them and you hate them at the same time because everything changes in your eyes, yet everything is the same around you. Yes, Everything changes yet Nothing does.
Are you looking for the truth or just a way to co-exist? That is my question to you today? Each person will choose in the end; what they can handle and what they cannot. It does not make you any stronger or weaker, smarter or dumber; it is just what you are ready to handle at that time. These moments can happen early on in your life, they can happen way later and for some these moments never come and they live in denial their whole lives. You choose what you want to see. You choose what you want to believe. You choose to see the truth or to be blind to it. Sometimes it is just a coping mechanism for our minds to prevent us from breaking down. Our conscious mind is not always on the same level as our subconscious. They struggle most of the times. In addition, your heart gets mixed up and it becomes very complicated, and that is why no one can be blamed in handling things the way they do, at the time they do. Not everyone is capable of handling harsh realities. Some people are so sensitive; so delicate. And some are tough, they can take it in stride. I cannot tell you I understand why there are those extremes in personalities, all I know is: that is the reality.
Without going into discussion about old souls and past lives, a topic that many do not digest or even want to discuss, I will leave that thought to those who are on that level of thinking. You know where I am going with this from that particular point of view. So be that as it may. Let’s explore those defining moments in our lives and how it affects us.
Those defining moments usually occur when you get hurt in a way you never thought you would. You start to question a lot of things, events, people … Everything you have ever known, every significant moment that you can recall, every feeling you experienced, you name it. And what’s funny is that you realize; you have been living a lie. It’s not very funny actually. And it hasn’t been all a lie. But that’s how it feels initially, because you feel that you have been fooled or more like; you fooled yourself. You were thinking some way all this time and you built your whole life around this view and then you get a slap in the face, you wake up, and bam … Things are not really what you thought they were. I cannot cover all aspects of our lives and all the possible views we have but I will discuss a couple of important ones that most of us may have in common.
For example; our friendships. Just think for a moment, who are your friends. Can you differentiate between a friend and an acquaintance? That is very important in this process. First, divide them into groups: very close friends, close friends, acquaintances. I don’t think I need to get into what each one means, it is self-explanatory. Second step, you need to understand that expecting a friend from one group to behave like another in the other group is not logical. They are in that group for a reason. Could be because of the nature of the relationship to begin with, nothing more, nothing less. Third step, focus on the friends that you have known a really long time and the ones that came into your life, made a difference in it even if for a shorter time. Fourth step, remember as much as you can what they have done for you and what you have done for them over time. Fifth step, feel grateful for every friend you made over your lifetime, for whatever purpose, however you met, for however length of time. Now comes the tricky part and I don’t know if I will be able to reach you when I say this but I will try my best. At the end of the day, understand that, no matter how close you are to your friend, no matter what you have been through together, no matter the sacrifices that each one made for the other at a particular time, no matter the lengths each one took to make the other happy, no matter how much love you share, no matter what you thought or believed in your heart … The day will come, and not because anything changed, that friend who means the world to you; will break your heart, will look after their own needs, will think of “I” and will not even see or feel that they are wrong or how it is affecting you. And all of that is unintentional. The selfish part in us prevails at some point or another. And that; my dear reader, is the reality we have to face in this day and age.
The same can be said about your partner; your love. Whether you are just boyfriend / girlfriend or married for years with children. You may have endured a lot together. You may have proven time and time again that you share: trust, loyalty, love, understanding, compassion, perseverance .. among many descriptions. But one day, something happens to either one or both at same time and they can throw away all that and walk away from each other. And then the blame game starts to play. Who is at fault? Who pushed who? Who started it? Who finished it? Does any of that matter really?? The end result is the same. What happened to the days when marriages lasted a lifetime, when people grew stronger together rather than growing apart. Has it become too easy and too convenient to break up a family or any kind of relationship for that matter. Have we reached the point of no return on this subject. Have we gotten accustomed to giving up so much that we are totally accepting the high divorce rates in our current time. I look around me and that is all I see.
And so my reality hits me these days, that nothing lasts, no one can be trusted totally, you cannot depend on anyone, not even your own mother and father because even them, one day they can abandon you because of their own belief, culture or religion. And somehow they justify their actions and think they are right. So what makes you think your best friend will not back stab you, and what reassures you that your love will be there till the end of time. My reality is that I must not depend on anyone to survive or to make me happy because it is inevitable that I will be let down. Someone is bound to make a mistake or change or even disappear from my life.
My reality is that I must only depend on myself in this world and if there is anyone I place my life in his hands, that would be GOD, the almighty. GOD is the only one who will not let me down. He loves me unconditionally no matter what I do, no matter my imperfections. He forgives me. He gives me endless chances to redeem myself. He lets me fall sometimes and make mistakes so that I can learn from them. Other times, he protects me by sending angels my way. He always listens to my prayers even when I doubt it at times, but he is listening. I know he is. All that is intangible. All that is blind faith. All that is based on a choice to believe. But I would rather believe in something I don’t see, or touch, than in my fellow-man that has proven time and time again, that I cannot depend on him. God has made miracles in my life that I cannot deny or have a blind eye to. I have been blessed in more ways than you or I can ever imagine.
Now I am not saying all this from a pessimistic point of view and I am not saying do not trust anyone around you. We will. We will trust, we will love with all of our hearts, we will give ourselves to others, we will live our lives just as it is meant to be. And we will get hurt, we will be let down time and time again, sometimes from the closest people to us and sometimes from the ones you least expect. And that is just life. But what I can tell you is that if you depend on yourself more, if you keep your eyes and your mind open, if you have less expectations from people around you; maybe you will shield your heart a bit more, maybe you won’t be disappointed as often, maybe you will face reality and accept what is and not live in a dream of what you wanted it to be. Truth hurts but it must be faced one day or another. Pain is inevitable but it must heal one day or another. Life is tough but it must be lived one way or another. I hope I brought light into your life today. My intention was never to be negative, but simply, to share with you my view on reality. Thank you for reading.