A question I have asked myself a million times and I am still struggling with the answer. That’s if there is only one answer. Don’t you find yourself sometimes asking yourself why do I love this person? Why am I so drawn to this person? Why can’t I let go if I know this person is not for me?
So you fall in love, you go through all these emotions, and at some point you find yourself asking: why do I love this person and what do I love about them? Most of the times you draw a blank. You cannot find the answer. At least not right away. People ask you the same question and you don’t know what to say. You know you love the person, you just do. You know you feel something so deep that you can’t even put it in words. Could it be who they are? Their personality? Or is it the way they treat you? Or could it be the way you feel about yourself when you are with this person? You ask yourself a million questions. Where are those feelings coming from? Can you stop feeling this way? Are you able to differentiate is this: Love? Lust? Infatuation? Crush? Fascination? Gratitude? Among other descriptions you may come up with. How can you tell the difference if it is real love or it is in your imagination. Do you know better because you are the one involved or do those around you know better because they are not. Which voice do you listen to? Your heart or your mind?????
From a perspective of a woman who loved a couple of times and also got hurt more than once; I can tell you that it is a constant struggle. You don’t really know sometimes. However, I can tell you this; trust your instincts and your voice of reason. They usually are the right indication of what is really going on. The heart fools you sometimes. But the mind; tells you like it is, whether you like it or not. Asking questions is a good sign you are not totally lost in emotions. So keep asking questions. But we go wrong when we justify things our way to make it look like what we want it to be, not the reality of what it is. We fool ourselves before we do anyone else. And we have more to lose than anyone close to you that might feel your pain after. It is us who lose in the end, us who suffer, us who cry …
Love is like a drug at times. You need to have it to continue living. We love but we never know what we are getting into until due time. We love and we close our eyes to all the things that we do not like and we go in a circle of justifying and finding excuses for the one we love. We love and we want to believe that this is it, this time. A lot of times we fall in love with the wrong people, but in the end we learn significant lessons about ourselves, what we can handle and what we cannot. The picture becomes clearer as we deal with our broken heart. Sometimes the experiences we go through were necessary for our own growth to help us find the right fit in the end.
Have you ever felt like there is a magnet drawing you closer to a particular person. And you just can’t put your finger on why the hell is this happening?? Sometimes it is the same person over and over again, throughout various stages of your life. They come and they go and those feelings still reside in your heart even if you so-called “moved on”. And sometimes, we want to hold on with everything in us because it’s what gave us happiness once upon a time. Whether it be a new love you are encountering or an old love that you just can’t seem to let go of; either way, you don’t know if this is the “ONE”. Speaking of which, is there really only one person for you to love in this lifetime?? Of course, I will beg to differ. Once again I bring in my expertise in life so far and tell you that I will agree and same time disagree with this thought. Let me elaborate further.
I start with why I disagree. Other than the fact that I personally fell in love more than once and thought that each one was “the one”, at that time; I will also tell you that it is not necessary that the one you fall in love with from the first time; you end up marrying till death do you part. Some were lucky, found true love at an early stage, got married, and lived the “happily ever after”. Others struggle to find love their whole life and may never find it. They may never really find “the one”. And some love twice and three times and finally they may get lucky and find what they are looking for. Ladies and gentleman, here is the key: “Finding what you are looking for”. We search for love sometimes in all the wrong places, or at the wrong time or in the wrong way. That’s why it doesn’t work out. Sometimes you meet people and the situation doesn’t allow you to be together, whatever the reasons are, but you feel it in your bones that if it weren’t for those circumstances – this person would be the one you would want to spend the rest of your life with. But you can’t. If you are actually going out searching for “the one”, you end up finding a lot of look alike, but never that ONE to complete you at this time, at this age, in that place in your life.
This point brings me to why I do agree that there is “the ONE” for each one of us. And that is because they come our way when we are not searching, when we are not forcing it, when we are not stressing over the subject, better yet, when you don’t even give it a thought and let it go in Gods hands. That’s when miracles happen. And you find the one – or I should say – The One found YOU!! Maybe then, all your questions of: Do I love this person? Why I love this person? And what is it about this person that I can’t let go? – get answered. May be just then, it all becomes clear and you finally know, which was real love and which wasn’t. And only then you understand why it took so long to get to your “happily ever after”. Only then when you appreciate all the love you experienced, because it brought you to this one person whose hands fit just right in yours, whose heart has just the perfect curves to complete yours and whose life was meant to be with yours but you just realized it now.
That is the true meaning of finding ” The ONE”. At least that is through my eyes. When it is right, it will just work out. When it is right, you will say: I love you because ….. and the answers will just flow through your mouth even though you didn’t think of it much. When it is right, the word “Love” itself is not enough to tell the person you love. When it is right, you focus more on loving the person through your actions more than trying to explain why, what, who, where, and how. That’s when it is right.
So my dear, fall in love as many times as you want, nothing wrong with that. Just know when to make the right choice when choosing the one that deserves to have you for the rest of your life. Remember you don’t come cheap. So act like it.