This Moment

Here I am sitting in the balcony of my suite, looking upon a magnificent view, listening to the sound of the rain as it hits the trees and the ground, with an accompanying sound of the birds chirping. I describe my setting however the reality is much more beautiful than the words to describe it. It’s a moment to be lived, to be felt, to be immersed into its magic. I realize at this moment how precious it is; every moment we live, every second that passes, every feeling we get to experience. Each one is unique as much as it may seem repeated. Yes I heard rain before, but not like this. Yes I saw trees before, but not like this. Yes I felt serenity before in different places, in different times, with different people, but not like this. This brings me to the point of my topic today which I had no clue I would write about until this very moment I am writing. It is all about me appreciating this moment, right here, right now.  It is all about “this moment”.

This moment is the one I have, next moment I do not know about. This moment I am breathing. This moment I am smiling. This moment I am in gratitude. This moment I am in awe. And so these moments I am living are reminding me of all the other moments in my past. The ones I got to live. And the ones I didn’t pay attention to. I recall moments from different stages of my life. It does not play in my head as a series of events from earlier time to more recent. I get moments like flashbacks randomly. It could start by a moment from yesterday to a moment from childhood jumping to a moment from a year ago to another several years back. In no particular order, these flashbacks of special moments in my life, they appear as they hold a deep meaning for me. They can be happy moments and they can be sad moments. They can be funny as hell, and they can be embarrassing too. The mind does not know how to differentiate. The mind only knows that this moment is an important one and so it digs through my files and finds the bookmarks in every stage of my life.

I ask myself, why now?? Why am I remembering all this?? All that because of the rain and the nature I am surrounded by?? What’s so special about this moment?? And so it hits me. I am always thinking back to the past or I am stressing about tomorrow. I don’t live the exact moment I am living because I don’t know how to live in the present moment. It’s either past or future that consumes me. And to be honest, the past wins over the future.

I realize I am living a moment of self-discovery. How often do I allow myself to listen?? Not often apparently, because I am so busy talking about what I feel and what I think. I forgot that I must listen more in order to understand better. Even though I knew this, but when it comes to application of what we know, we forget to complete the process.

Nature has been trying to reach me for the longest time and I have ignored it. I was too consumed with what is right and wrong and why people think like this and how can we live better. All I needed to do is just stop for a second and listen to the voice that has tried to reach me. And to my surprise, I realize that many questions I have asked, the answers were right there, within me.  I just had my eyes closed and my ears blocked.

Just now, I understand some of the things the wise ones have said. Just now, I realize the mistakes I have made. Just now I see that the answers lie within our hearts. All that happens when you get closer to nature. When the blind fold is removed and you allow yourself to empty your mind and just listen.

Now the hardest part in all this, is to be able to hold on to that discovery when my surrounding changes again to the busy busy go-go life I am living. It is only a matter of couple of hours from this moment I am living, and once again I will be sucked into a life I feel I am a stranger to. I pray I find a way to keep the blind fold off and the ear plugs away. I am not ready to lose my discovery.  I am so glad I finally found it. Now it is time I grow with it. And sure enough, as anticipated, my phone rings, I get awakened from this special moment by my wake up call. This moment here may be coming to an end, but this moment I intend to make it live on with many more moments to come. But for now, I give thanks to GOD for letting me live “this very moment”.

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