Goodbye #3

A different kind of goodbye this time. One I knew I would experience at some point in my life. But also one that changed the way I look at things from the big picture. You know how you have certain people in your life that you get so attached to and you think life is impossible without them. Then comes a day and you realize you are actually better off without them. That’s when things become clearer. You start to put the pieces of the puzzle together. You find out who was meant to be in your life for a reason, the season or for your lifetime. While you are saying goodbye to some people from your heart, you also say goodbye to that part of you that was blinded by this attachment. A part of you changes. A part of you is set free.

Most of the times, we put ourselves in this mess. We are the ones to blame for blinding our own-selves. We do it naively, because we love dearly and whole-heartedly.  When you click with someone on any level, you allow yourself to get attached, and part of your reasoning suddenly disappears. Even when they do things to you that normally you wouldn’t tolerate from anyone; you do not seem to think of it as a big deal; because it is the person you care about after all. You let them get away with murder sometimes. You give them excuses time and time again. You seem to be so blind to how badly they treat you, even if they do not do it intentionally. You believe their words more than their actions. You fall for their lies and made-up stories. You find yourself sucked-in and the whole world seems to be aware of what’s going on except you.

Nonetheless, one day, their true self comes out. Usually they shock you. They come out of nowhere, or so it seems, and they are the ones that let go of you whether in a subtle way or a harsh way.  Thinking they can still fool you because they believe you to be weak since you have proven it by letting them walk all over you all this time. At this point, your sweetness is mistaken for weakness. In many instances, they find a way to blame you and make it your fault. You get devastated and you feel betrayed and abandoned because you were not prepared for this. You never thought that this person who claims to care for you, would do this to you one day. But the finger must be pointed at you, not them. You are the one who allowed this to happen. You are the one who chose to be blind and not see the signs that were staring you right in the face all this time. Now you want to feel you are the victim. No. You are not. You are fooling yourself once again if you convince yourself of that. You are no victim. You are responsible for every hurtful feeling you go through because you let them do this to you. And that is the truth whether you like it or not.

The good news is you get to discover how strong you really are. You surprise yourself once again. What you thought would break you, ends up strengthening you, giving you the best lesson of your life. You get to finally understand what it means by: people come and people go. I won’t say that in the end everybody ends up going someday because my life is not over yet. So I really don’t know. But what I can say is:
If someone wants to be in your life, they will always make the effort.
If someone truly cares about you, they will call you to see how you are doing.
If someone really does love you, they will do everything in their power to make you happy.
If someone really thinks highly of you, they will show you the respect not just tell you.
If someone truly is sincere in what they are saying, they will back it up by their action time and time again, not just once.
If someone is really meant to be in your life, nothing and no one will ever stop that.

So instead of feeling bad and sad that someone will no longer be in your life the way they used to be. Be grateful that you got to see who is real and who isn’t. Be thankful that you are no longer under their spell. Be appreciative that you get to clean up your surrounding. Those who do not belong in your life or who are sucking the goodness out of you, don’t need to be taking space in your precious life or from your valuable time. So if they never valued you to begin with, if they never allowed themselves to get to really know who you are, if they do not have it in them to appreciate a good thing when they had it, if it was that easy for them to walk away, replace you, or just let go of you when they no longer need you; then they never deserved to be in your life from the start. You fulfilled whatever purpose you were meant to whether it be for them or for yourself. And now the time has come for you to be the one to walk away from them. And that takes place by whatever means necessary.

I may have said this before, but I will say it again. You know your self-worth. You know who you are and what you are to this world. Love yourself more than anyone can love you. Respect yourself more than the world’s respect for you. Value yourself more than any person in this world would value you. Say goodbye to those who never understood what you are made of. Say goodbye to your false dreams and expectations. I’m sad to say, some were never worthy of your love from the start. So it’s okay to clean up your surrounding. It’s time to say goodbye to them and to that old part of you, that thought, life cannot continue without them. The reality is Life will be different without them. You will be different without them. It is up to you to make it better or otherwise! It’s time to choose the people who deserve your love and kindness; wisely.

One comment on “Goodbye #3

  1. How difficult you know what I have been going through. This article is very well written. You are a beautiful person. Some of what you said I had never thought to look at it that way. My friends would say she mistook my sweetness for weakness. My friends are my strength. They tell me she wasn’t able to appreciate a good thing. That she wasn’t worthy of my love. I’m going to have to print this out.

    That is what I’m going through, trying to figure out how to go on without her. Most of the time I don’t want to continue living. Sometimes I do think she used me to fill a need & then threw me away like yesterday’s garbage.
    I’ll be rereading this post to help me work through some issues, especially the one of whether or not to keep living.


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