Everybody lies. You lie, I lie, men lie, women lie, children lie, your parents lie, your co-worker lies, your boss lies, your teacher lies – everybody lies. I am sad to say we have all gotten accustomed to lying for our own benefit despite how big or small the lie is and no matter it is necessary or not. We know lying is not right, we know it is immoral before it is a sin and we know also that lying normally doesn’t get you far. Furthermore, lies always come out at some point or another; but we still lie anyways. So why do we lie? and to whom do we lie to? Do you really believe it is better to lie in certain circumstances in lieu of telling the truth?
As usual, my topic is triggered by a personal experience therefore I need to write about it so I can understand it myself. We all have been lied to at some point or another just as much as we all must have lied to someone. Of course we justify it to ourselves when we do it and we claim that we are not hurting anyone by lying, we are just trying to avoid a bigger problem; therefore we lie. Then the tables are turned and one day; you get lied to. You get hurt, you lose trust in the person that lied to you, you don’t respect them the same way anymore and in some cases you might just cut them out of your life, depending if they were worth it from the start and on the damage they caused. Can a lie be forgiven? Then again; we can choose to forgive however, to give them a second chance is really the question here.
We have heard many excuses for lying some of which are: “It’s a white lie, It’s a small lie, I am sugar-coating the truth, the lie won’t hurt you, I am trying to protect you by lying to you, I just kept the truth since you never asked directly, you never asked so I just didn’t say anything so technically that is not lying and last but not least: what you don’t know, don’t hurt you.” When you lie to someone, you are cheating them in the end no matter what is your reasoning behind it. There is no black and white in a lie. There is no good lie or bad lie. There is no protection in being lied to either. All that is just bullshit – excuse my language.
From my point of view however, and you can disagree with me if you wish or even call me a hypocrite, I do believe that there are certain circumstances where we need to either withhold information or alter it a bit – yes it is called lying too – I am well aware – but I am sugar-coating it!! I have been in those situations myself just as I am sure some of you have – where you want to protect your privacy from those who can either impose danger if they knew everything about you or if they are just nosy and your life is really none of their business. But you do have some people who will ask you the most personal questions about yourself that the best way to get out of it is either by dodging the question, make up stuff or just straight out lie. And sometimes, you are just not comfortable telling someone else how you really feel when you are asked, so you say you are fine. Other times, you do not feel it is the right time to reveal certain things about your life, if ever, to those who are interested in your life. And that can be towards strangers as well as family members. You are not obligated to say every single thing that is happening in your life to your family if you do not want them to know. You have the right to keep what you want to yourself and when you choose to share personal details, well then, that is your choice. But it shouldn’t have to be an obligation to reveal all your life details and be an open book to everyone.
Sometimes it is necessary to lie and hide the truth for your sake and for the other person sake. You may be preventing an unnecessary fallout. We deal with different mentalities and different point of views. So if you feel telling the truth about yourself will create an unwanted argument which will lead to nowhere – then just avoid it all together. At least that is my opinion and that is how I choose to live and my conscience is totally fine with that. No need to add extra stress just because I need to be myself and tell the truth all the times and expect everyone to accept me and the things I do. I know who I am, I know whether I am doing wrong and right, and really that is all that matters.
On another note, when you are being lied to and fooled with the result of you being hurt. That is not cool. Actually that is one of the worst feelings you can ever imagine when it happens to you. I read about it many times. I tried to imagine what it feels like. Until I experienced it first-hand. I was lied to, I was cheated and I was played for a fool all at once. At first I blamed myself because I thought I should know better, but as I analyzed it, how could I have known. Usually, I have a good judge on characters. I can feel whether I am around a negative energy or a positive one. But I guess I didn’t train myself on feeling out for liars. I started to second guess myself but an angel helped me through this difficult time and showed me it was not my fault and that I was just simply played by someone who was really good at it. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and I let them prove to me if they are worth my trust and love. Sometimes I am too lenient with those who wrong me and in this case lie to me. I am now put in a position where confrontation is a must. I do not want to hate. I do not want to revenge. And I most definitely do not want to waste any more of my precious time on people who do not deserve it. I just wish I get some answers by the end of it. I know I may never know the truth. So be that as it may.
Generally speaking though, you wonder why people lie. And from my experience in life, I can tell you that usually because they are cowards. As a matter of fact, fear drives us to lying. Fear of what exactly, it may vary from one person to the next. We lie because we know if we tell that person the truth they may leave us, so in order to hold on to them, we lie. We lie because we know if we tell them the truth about something we did, they may not respect us anymore, so in order to preserve some respect, we lie. We lie because we know if we tell the truth about our past, we may be judged for it, so in order to be given a second chance in life and happiness, we lie. We lie because we are so scared that we will not be accepted or loved by the ones we desire so we create this image about ourselves that is fake. We fear to be criticized, so we lie. We are sometimes blinded by reality and we are so selfish, we want our cake and eat it too, so we lie. We lie because sometimes it has become a habit to lie about anything and everything. Lying has become part of our blood and we do it so smoothly and naturally. We create the lies and eventually we believe our own lies and live a life full of lies. We lie to make ourselves look good in front of others – a show-off more like it. We lie because we have a low self-esteem, so we like to tell stories that never happened, but at least you have an audience to hear you for a while. We lie when we are sad, we do not want to feel pity from others. And we lie when we are happy, because we are afraid people will envy our happiness and it will all go away. We lie when we are sick and dying because we want to spare others the pain. And we lie about being well so we can get the attention from others that otherwise you won’t get.
We lie for so many reasons and we lie in so many ways. Everything we go through in life can be either a curse or a blessing. The good things and the bad are both intertwined. Whatever our story is, it is our story. Whether we choose to live in truth, face the reality with all its pains and gains or we choose to live in a lie, run away from dealing with anything or anyone and be alone in the end with your lies. Lies do get caught. There is a saying in a foreign language that translates as such: ‘A lie has no legs’ and by that it means, it has no foundation to stand on; it cannot run, and it cannot be hidden. Be prepared to get caught in at least one of your lies. And when you do, ask yourself which would have been better: Tell the truth and deal with the consequences or tell the lie and deal with its consequences. Last but not least, remember if you allow yourself to lie once, you will do it again and again. Similarly, if you have been lied to by someone once, expect to be lied to by the same person again and again. Lying is an addiction my dear readers. Try your best to stay away from it and from those who practice it. Thank you for reading.