As I came across this quote by one of my favourite and most inspiring teachers in my life, I read it over and over, each time it hits me harder and awakens my suppressed feelings.
I am dealing with many emotions these days. Some of which are: sadness, grief, mourning, nostalgic, grateful, guilty, self-doubting, disappointment, and feeling of loss. As I was recently notified, a person dear to my heart, is on her death bed. A lady I cannot describe because she is an angel. A lady that is as close as family can be, yet not blood-related.
How can I describe what she means to me. I cannot even find the words. All I can say is that she loved me unconditionally. She gave me all she could. She was there for me when the whole world turned its back on me. She was my refuge and my guardian angel. Her stories I will always remember. Her voice and her laughter are still in my head. Oh how I wish I can go and say goodbye. How I wish I can hold her hand and tell her thank you for all you have done for me. How grateful I am to have known her for so many years. How I wish I can say I am sorry for not visiting more often. I just pray she knows how much I love her and appreciate her love for me.
My heart is breaking not just because she is leaving earth, but because I never had the chance to tell her what I want to say. I will miss you more than I can say. But I know you are going to a better place. I cannot say I am happy for that. But I can say that you are an angel that deserves her rightful place. I will never ever forget you. In my heart, you will always remain. Forever. I love you!!!