When Men Get Married

What happens to men when they tie the knot. Why do they change dramatically. They can change to the better or to the worse. Every case is different however the common denominator is that they change.

That’s not saying women don’t change, they do. In fact, in most cases they become more mature and responsible. A lot of men become mature and take on the responsibility while some, behave just like they were at Mama’s house. They switch their dependency mode from Mama to wife. To them, their wife is now their maid, their cook, their nurse, sometimes their career guidance/counselor, their financial advisor, their psychiatrist. And the best part of getting married, for men, is that now they can “get it” whenever they want; or so they think.

These days it is already hard to get a man to commit, but when they do, usually they are ready for that step. But no matter how ready you think you are, once you are in the situation, you realize it’s not what you imagined at all. It’s not all about spending time together in your own home and having fun. Things change … In other words, life happens. Depending on how long it takes till wifey gets pregnant, some marriages don’t have a lot of time to settle before adding new members to the family, therefore it affects on the foundation of the couple. Men need a lot of attention from their wives, they like to be babied and pampered. They love it when their wife surprises them with a romantic sexy night. They want to have sex all the time. It’s natural to them. It’s in their nature. But when wifey is busy with work and house chores and add to that when she becomes pregnant, everything changes in this household.

There are many men who will be understanding and be supportive and loving to their wives while they go through these dramatic changes. From morning sickness to midnight cravings to tantrums and mood swings. If a man doesn’t have it in him to handle the things that will be thrown at him, he will fall apart. And some men do. They become angry, they almost feel like they made a mistake and ask themselves secretly “what have I gotten myself into?, wasn’t it better when I was single?” It is overwhelming to be in this position. The man feels responsible for his woman and his baby. The baby comes and it changes everything. He falls in love all over again. His feelings of joy and pride is indescribable. He is happy beyond belief with his son or daughter. Even more grateful and affectionate towards his wife. As a matter of fact, he develops a new kind of love for her. She is not only his friend, and his wife, she is now the mother of his child. He witnessed her sufferings during pregnancy and delivery and post delivery. The first few days and weeks are so overwhelming for both. However at some point during the adjusting stage, things may go in a different direction. When the man starts to crave for his wife’s attention, that is now fully directed to the baby. Men are like children in a way, they get a bit jealous and they want to feel important by their wives. And that’s where it can get sticky.

Women’s priorities change when they have a baby; their hormones do as well. Their desire to have sex changes along with some insecurities that might develop due to dramatic changes to the body after pregnancy. It can also be a mental struggle where it almost feels wrong to enjoy having sex with their husband allowing them to touch certain areas that now is priority for the baby. It can really get complicated with the couple if there is not enough patience from both sides. Communication is a must in these times. The couple must not allow the lack of Sexual intimacy to affect their closeness and love for one another. Men in particular might need to tolerate some tough times and may have to endure being deprived of doing some things they were used to before baby’s arrival. And usually, I must say, men endure and they do pass through this time and one day they look back at it and realize they were being silly.

Marriage teaches a man how to be a man, and building a family teaches a man how to love, support and protect. Men may be spoiled at times, and they may act silly at times and they may be needy at times. But in the end, Men learn to become what they never thought they could be. And they live a life they may have not imagined. Moreover, they may realize one day, they wouldn’t have it any other way. God bless those Men and may God always give them wisdom to see the blessings and hold on to it.

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