True Love is a lie

Today I discovered that True Love is just a big fat lie. We profess our love for each other in so many words and gestures, but the real test comes when it’s time to make choices. Destiny and fate may play a role in two people meeting. Their circumstances, their need at the time and its fulfilment is a factor in falling in love. Staying in love forever is a choice. So what does that have to do with True love, what’s true love anyway?

I always believed in true love. And I thought true love will last forever. And I was wrong. Because even true love dies with time when it is not nourished and looked after. ‘Out of sight; out of mind’ is indeed a true statement. We are all guilty of it. Ask yourself if you don’t believe me, have you ever believed in a love so much, you thought you can never find another. Then life surprises you and you get proven wrong. Well; I have.  I believed in one point in my life that you are so lucky to experience true love at least once in your lifetime. It’s when life brings you together in miraculous ways. When you connect on a deep level that you cannot understand. When your love for one another is stronger than your love for yourself. When you are happier making the other happy. When time passes and your love doesn’t dissipate, but grows in different shapes and forms as you both grow. I thought this kind of love is not easy to find and therefore it would last forever.

Once upon a time, is how the story begins and then it reaches its climax point where it can go either way and then it becomes once upon a goodbye, this love somehow did end. When all along you thought it would be there forever. People move on one way or another. It may take a long time or it may be very fast. There is no timeline to this. Everyone is different. The point is you choose to get over it or you choose to live in pain.

What makes the love alive? It’s the two people involved. They choose to work at it regularly in order to maintain it and make it grow. But if one stops or slacks off, the balance flops and the love is in danger. Unless an effort is made by both parties once again to regain that balance, then this love has no where but to go down all the way. One of our problems is we get too comfortable and we take this love for granted. We think it’s ok, they’ll understand, they love me. And that is a big mistake, because everyone has their limit, no matter how much they love you.

True love only lives as far as the people involved want it to live. There is no outside force keeping it together. There is no magic trick. Either you want to hold on to it or you let go. And to hold on to it, you must feel that it is worth holding on to. In other words, we tend to think: “what’s in it for me?” No one stays in a relationship just to please the other person. There is always something you are gaining being in it from the start. Otherwise, you are long gone. You are no saint. We try to be patient. We forgive, give benefit of the doubt, even give many chances to the person we love to stop doing the things that hurt us or start doing the things we need from them. But when they fail you time and time again with no hope of things getting better; you walk away. The things that kept you together are not working anymore and you are hurting more than you are happy. So you give up and run away from what’s hurting you, even if you swore and promised to be together till death do you part. You break that vow and you save yourself.

Usually, one decides to let go and the other holds on and it stays in limbo for a while. Because one is not ready to accept defeat and let it go. They think, it’s their only chance for finding love and happiness or they think they invested a lot of their feelings and time already in it, so why not stick it out just a little longer. They are so blinded and cannot see clearly. They got used to receiving this love from this person and they become so comfortable with it that the thought of losing it makes them feel like their life will be taken away.

At times the connection between two people can be indeed so intense that it almost feels your heart is being pulled out and you feel like you are going to die. The fact is, No one dies from a breakup or a love story ending. We choose to live in misery and sadness because we didn’t choose to let go, it was forced upon us. Ever notice how much easier it is to be the one who breaks up not the one broken up with. It makes a huge difference in the recovery process. So it really has nothing to do with the love itself, it’s your self confidence, your dreams, your plans that have been shattered. Sometimes it’s your ego and pride. And the thought of starting this all over again scares the shit out of you. And who can be blamed. It’s one hell of a process. I’m a victim of this myself.

I am no love or relationship expert, I am not a pessimist and I am not a dreamer. I am simply a woman who lived in love and out of it. I experienced many situations; I met many people. Everything I say, comes from a real life story. I draw my conclusion today saying True love is a lie, even though I know that those who are in a blissful state might disagree with me completely. That is merely due to the fact, they haven’t been on the other side just yet. Or if they have, it’s not repeated for them to see it this way. Not that I wish this on anyone. I wish everyone true love and eternal happiness. I wish that no one would ever have to go through heartache. But that’s not the reality, and you know it. God bless you if you found true love, my advice to you: “hold on to it real tight and never let go”.

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