Balance VS Priority

Every person has a list of priorities which develops at any early age and with time, the items on that last changes as we grow and evolve. Eventually, we learn about balancing our priorities. With experience, we get to know the value of some things over others; of some people in our lives over others. Everyone has a different priority and that’s totally normal and okay. Everyone’s needs are different. As a matter of fact everyone’s needs changes with time. Therefore no one has the right to judge the other person about their priority list, however, when personally affected by the imbalance, one must speak up and make their point clear about where they want to be on that list. 

It is fair isn’t it!  Just like everyone has the right to make up their own priority list. Everyone must be able to freely verbalize where they desire to be on that list. Whether you can accommodate or not, well; that’s up to each individual and it’s based on several factors.

Our lives are not just about ourselves and it also does not revolve around others. Our lives are composed of many components, some will always be more important than others. And it is up to us to keep a good balance between all our life components. That list may be vast and in no particular order, here are the main ones in my opinion: Yourself, Your Parents, Your Siblings, The rest of your Family, Your Partner (husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend), Your Children, Your Friends, Your Job (work/own business), Your Hobbies, Your Basic Needs (food, shelter etc.), Other Stuff.

Of course, some things are a must in your life. So you may end up making two priority lists. One for survival which cannot interfere with the other list because the needs are on a different level. Your physical needs list will be composed of your needs to live, there is no playing around with that. You cannot decide to stay home all day and satisfy your belly when you don’t go to work in order to get paid in order to buy that food you need to eat. So some things are common sense, they will be automatically placed in the order it needs to be, in order to have a stable life.

Other things, which is our choice, we may play around with it as we move through life. For example, when we become teenagers, for some reason, our priority list is as follows:

Friends

Sleep

School

Family

Then we become adults and realize that we need to make some changes to our list.  And so it becomes:

Family

Friends

Work

Boyfriend/Girlfriend

The relationship is getting serious, more changes need to be made:

Work

Family

Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Friends

Yourself

It’s time to make some dramatic changes in your life, you may not like it but you have to. Now it’s time you use your balancing skills and so you try:

Husband/Wife and Family

Work

Friends and Yourself

The load becomes heavy, you feel like you are being pulled in million directions. Nothing you ever do is good enough for anyone. Everyone wants you to put them first. They all nag and complain and doubt your love and loyalty. You get so fed up of it all and you say the hell with you all. And so you go through a stage where things become like:

Yourself

Work

Husband/Wife

Family

Friends

No one is happy with you at this point and just when you thought you got it all figured out, your life changes again and with it comes new responsibilities and you finally realize what is truly important:

Children with Husband/Wife with a little of yourself

Family

Friends

Work

More time for yourself

And so you go through the rest of your life trying to maintain that balance. At times, you will end up giving more attention to one more than the other. It’s normal. Because nothing stays the same forever.

You value your immediate family more than anything in this world, as you should. But you also come to realize your parents won’t be on this earth much longer, so you give them your time as much as you can. And by this time, your partner in life should be understanding and values your desire to be there for your own parents. After all, if you don’t show love to your own mom and dad, how can you show love to your wife/husband. Your children will always be number one. And that eases the dispute between parents vs partner. They both lose. And they are both happy with that outcome. Work comes and goes. You can always get a new job but you cannot get a new family. Your true friends will be there with you no matter what happens, even when you neglect them for a while. They understand, they may be going through the same thing anyway. But when you need each other, you are there.

Your priority list becomes a given and no one dares to fight for the first spot in your life because by now, you have proven to everyone they are all important and you love them all, However, as situations change and as things arise, you may have to give attention to one more than the rest, and they will all respect you and love you for it nonetheless.

So don’t fret about trying to please everyone around you. You just have to struggle for a while until everyone knows they are all equally important. But life forces us sometimes to do some balancing here and there. As long as you are being fair, mostly to yourself and then to others. You need to be at peace with your decisions. Where you put someone on your list is up to you. No one should make you feel guilty about it. Having said that, sometimes we are stuck and we can be blinded and we may need a wake up call to shake us up a bit so we can get back on track.

In conclusion, it is good to prioritize and give everything its rightful attention. And it’s even better to balance out your whole life, starting from yourself. If you don’t give yourself time, the result is you will get lost in the middle of everyone’s wants and needs and you will be no good to anyone because you are lost and confused. Give yourself time to think, time to reassess and re-plan. Life doesn’t stay the same around you, everything changes, and so do you and so does your priorities.

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