Do you want to know what it’s like living in a world where you are this person but to the rest of the world you are another. Have you ever felt that you are living a double life. Have you ever had to hide what you feel inside. Have you ever had to pretend to be someone you are not. Did you ever have to make decisions in your life where you would live in pain whichever way you choose. Welcome to my life.
I am not ashamed and I am not afraid to say that I am who I am. I believe what I believe. I live my life this way and I am at peace with my decision to be this person. I know I will not have everyone support me or agree with me and I am ok with that. I know I may have to lose a lot in the process of fighting to live my way. And I am also ok with that. The one thing I will not be ok with, is living my life, whatever is left of it, the way other people want. I will not pretend to be someone other than me. I will not hide what I feel or think of. I’m loved by God for whoever I am. And I am certain that I will be judged on my intentions and my deeds in this lifetime. I may not be living by all the rules. I may make mistakes from time to time. But in my heart, I want nothing than to live a life full of love, peace and acceptance.
When I make my choices, I am well aware what is at stake. And I calculate my damages as much as I can. I foresee things and I anticipate the worse case scenario. The life I lived so far has taught me that. I am not a fool to think I will have it all. But whatever I do choose, even though it’s unfair, I still have to do right by myself. If I deny myself the chance to live the way I wanted, then what’s the meaning of my life anyway. If I decide to be the martyr and the victim of her circumstances then there will be no one to blame because I chose to give in and let it be.
I am not going down without a fight. I will fight until the last breath I take. I will fight to live. I will fight to be happy. I will fight to live my life purpose, the one I have been searching for since the beginning of it all. Today I declare war. I declare war on the strings and ropes that have tied me down. I declare war on all the things that I have been taught that makes no sense to me. I declare war on the closest people to me. And I am ready to face whatever outcome it may be. I will fear no more. I will not hide behind this complacency just to please everyone around me. You get one chance to get it right. And this is my chance. I will not let it go even if it cost me the dearest things to my heart. I will simply not give up. I will not give in. I will not fear and I will not regret. Today I chose to live my life; my way.