What we do for the sake of love sometimes we cannot comprehend. For those who understand the true meaning of love, it comes naturally to them to give all they can to the ones they love. Since love comes in different shapes and forms and since there is more than one type of love, therefore people will express their love differently. And it is totally just fine.
In the name of love we sacrifice. A mother would sacrifice her career in order to raise her children and spend quality time with them. A husband would sacrifice an opportunity to work abroad and miss a promotion for the sake of staying with his family and not missing out on his children growing up. A girl could give up her whole life if it meant fighting for her happiness with the person she found love with.
There are many examples one can list, there are many types of sacrificing. It starts from the small things in our day to day life, all the way to the heavy stuff. You may give up your side of the bed that you were used to most of your life, just to make your partner comfortable. You may start changing your diet in order to match your partners’. Things you never thought you would eat, you start to like it. Sport activities you never imagined you would do, you start to do in order to make your partner happy. You sit and you listen to your mother-in-law nagging because you know how much your partner loves their mother. You tolerate hanging out with your partner friends even if you have your own opinion of them. You find yourself at times not the same person you used to be. At times you feel you lost your identity. But all this you justify as you do it for the sake of love.
While it’s nice to adapt to the one you love and try to find the middle ground in almost everything in your lives, it is imperative not to lose yourself in the process. There has to be a limit to your sacrificing and changing of yourself. Some things you can change, but not everything. Remember this person fell in love with the real you, therefore, the person has to accept you as you are. You shouldn’t have to make dramatic changes in order to prove your love.
Love is accepting each other from the start as you are. Those who get in relationships thinking their partner will change with time, change after marriage; are very delusional. People don’t change for anyone. If by any chance changes are made, they are usually temporary. The person always goes back to what they are used to. That’s not saying that it is not possible to adapt to some minor changes in your life. Everyone has the ability to modify some things about their habits but not their personality. It is very important to keep that in mind, else you will find yourself in a situation where you will blame no one but yourself, for living in a fantasy world; thinking your partner will change for you. This is the reality. Accept it.
Sadly, for the sake of love, and for the sake of wanting to hold on to that love, we convince ourselves many times that we can handle the things we don’t like. Until one day, you blow up because you took on more than you can handle. It is better to be honest with yourself from the start. Know what you can give up and what you cannot. Know the fine line between adapting and losing yourself. Be aware of the characteristics of the person you want to be with and don’t fool yourself thinking it is okay when deep down you know it is not. Don’t allow yourself to settle for less than what you want because you will only be able to do it for so long. Don’t write the ending of your story before it begins. Write a story that can actually have a plot.
It is true no one can guarantee anything or anyone. It is true people change. And it is true people can grow out of love. But if you had the right foundation from the start and didn’t close your eyes to those detrimental issues, maybe you have a better chance to have the real deal; the right one.
No one said it was easy, so why make it more difficult on yourself. The thing is, you cannot possibly know all this if you haven’t been through it time and time again. Although, some people are very lucky and they find the right match early on in life and may never have to experience these tough choices. But what can I say, some of us may have to go through those tough times in order to find the one who matches us. The key here is never give up on finding it one day, no matter how long it takes. It is better to keep on searching than to settle for less and be miserable for the rest of your life.
For the sake of love, give your love to the one that deserves it. For the sake of love, learn how to give yourself love first by knowing what you actually deserve. For the sake of love, sacrifice but don’t lose yourself in the process. For the sake of love, cherish those who love you because when it’s gone, you may never get it back. For the sake of love, understand what love really means.
Is it possible that we can grow and change over time through love?