Many times we hold on to things from the past. From memories to emotions to sentimental objects. And while we may convince ourselves that we have moved on and we are just holding on to something that meant a great deal to us, in fact we haven’t truly let go because we don’t want to. There is a part of us that still wants to hold on. And we continue living an illusion that we moved on.
What you consider an important sentiment, may not be the same for someone else. So we really can’t judge each other and we can’t tell who let go and who hasn’t. Each individual knows truly what they are feeling. Even if they deny it, they still know.
How can you explain someone who has kept their old love letters from a past relationship even though they are happy with someone else now. What is the reason you still keep that teddy bear in the back of your closet from that time you were with your ex. Why are you still wearing the watch he gave you for your birthday when you were together. And why do you have all your pictures together in a hidden folder on your computer. So let’s say, you have forgotten all of that. That does not explain why you read one of those letters from time to time and maybe shed a tear. And still does not explain why take the opportunity when you are alone to go find that folder on your computer and look through the memories of what once was. Have you truly moved on? You say you have and the proof is you are with someone else. But is that a real proof? Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself the whys and how comes. And face the truth.
One of the most difficult things we have to go through is letting go of someone dear to us that passed away. There is a process in the letting go and moving on. It all starts with accepting what happened and allowing ourselves to grieve and to feel whatever emotions. And to understand that everyone deals with their loss in their own way and on their own time. But how many people live their lives fooling themselves, thinking they are over the pain and they have let go but their actions prove otherwise. Without judging anyone on this subject, it’s a personal journey that we go through and only the person affected will have to see it through. So stop and ask yourself if you truly grieved or if you rushed it. Did you truly let go or are you still holding on through the memories whether in pictures, materials or way of life. Are you still unable to sit in their seat, sleep on their side of the bed? Do you still live your life as if they were still here? Are you preventing yourself from experiencing happiness because of guilt? Are you truly living or did you die with a beating heart?
On a day to day basis, we experience things. We have events that take place, conversations that happen, decisions that we take. Some are life altering while some may seem trivial. Every moment we live is an important moment. Each moment that passes never comes back. Each is unique. Every moment counts as part of our lives. Whether you are alone or with one person or in a group. Things are said. Things are done. Things come and go. How many times we catch ourselves reminiscing over an event or a conversation or a moment lived; regardless of good or bad. How many times have we changed our mood and our feelings because of remembering the past. How many times has your day taken a different turn than the way it started, simply because of something that happened in the past. You allowed it so don’t blame the past and don’t blame the people or the circumstances that sparked the memory. It is your choice to continue with your flash backs or to let it go and live your present moment. Are you letting the past be in the past? Or are you dragging it along with you wherever, whenever?!
No one said it was easy to let go of anything. Letting go of your negative emotions, especially, is not an easy task, but it is possible. It takes practice just like everything in our lives. You have to see first of all, that holding on to memories or feelings or materials, is not serving you right. Only then, your transition begins. You will find the method that best suits you. There is no one way to do anything. You follow your heart, you go with your own flow. Don’t be hard on yourself and take it one step at a time. But the most important part is to stop denying it to yourself.
Letting go of the past can cure you. It can free you. It can open doors that were right in front of you; you just didn’t see them. You move on truly, when you no longer talk about it. And if you do, the emotions are not holding you hostage. You move forward, when you act more than you talk. You let the past be in the past and you live your present to its fullest.