“It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”  A very well-known statement we heard time and time again. And as we go through life, the meaning of those words become more apparent. It may sound as a cliché. But the context is ever true. And as life takes us on many excursions, we get to apply what we know. It is about the method in the end. 

How many times, girls get approached by boys, or women getting approached by men and there is no interest to pursue anything romantic whether it be, friendship is all they wanted or just there is no click. You see Girls/ Women can truly hurt those who try to get close to them. Your choice of words can damage the person you are dealing with. You can scar them for life if you say what you want without regards of how it’s coming out. No one said to walk on eggshells and put others’ feelings above yours. I’m sure there is a way to balance both. Protect yourself and at the same time show empathy and respect to others.

So yes, it’s all in the method of how you let them down. No need to be mean or act as if they are a piece of garbage. Remember Karma. What goes around, comes around. So don’t be surprised later if you get back what you dished out long time ago. Karma doesn’t forget.

What about when a parent is trying to discipline their child. The child is sensitive to your words. Whatever you say and how you say it will leave a mark forever. A child will never forget how you made them feel. So use your methods wisely. Leave a good memory. Ask yourself how would you want your child to remember those days. Do you want them to love and respect you or fear you. What you do in their early stages will dictate the adult they will become. It’s all in the method dear parents. Never lose sight of what’s important. It’s about teaching them and helping them grow. Not show power and take pleasure in punishment.

In relationships, people will naturally disagree and have different point of views.  It is not always the case that couples or friends want to do things in the same way.  You can get similar results, but how you apply it may differ.  And so what.  Our differences make our relationships successful at times, if we knew how to respect and accept those differences. Therefore it is inevitable that we will have discussions about those differences and we will be annoyed from each other and we will want the other person to adapt to us.  That is all natural and justified. However, how it is done is the key to having a successful outcome.  Yes, it is all in the method.  The result will vary if you yell and scream versus discuss, request and clarify.

The list goes on and on about the methods you use and how it can make all the difference in the outcome. We know what not to do, but we still do it anyway. We don’t change our methods because we get stuck in our way of handling things.  And we actually think, if our method did not work this time, it is okay, it will work next time.  We seem unable to learn, that it never will.  The method itself must change and that is the only answer.  We can relate this in everything in our lives. I just thought of sharing a few examples. You fill in the rest. Change your methods if it has not worked for you.  In the end, it is all about the method.