Sometimes what you need is not what you want. And what you want is not what you need. To solve this puzzle is to search within yourself to understand who you truly are. Same statement, same words, different meaning. What you understand out of this statement may very well be a whole different thing from what another understands. Why is that?

Is it because we see; what we WANT to see, and we don’t see; what we don’t WANT to see. Is it because we are living in an illusion of what we think is good for us. And so we run after it our whole lives, thinking that once we get what we desire, we will be happy then. And so we chase our dreams, work hard on fulfilling the goals we set for ourselves. Do whatever is necessary to get things done, no matter the cost, no matter what you are doing to yourself in the process. Because what’s important is for us to accomplish that goal, to reach our happiness. Our happiness depends on fulfilling the goals that were once dreams. And so we believe we can.

Yes we can. No negativity is allowed. Where there is a will, there is a way. Nothing can stop us; only you stop yourself by your self-doubt and low self-esteem. Everything is possible if you only just try harder and harder. If only you made a little more sacrifices. If only you were just patient enough to see it through. You are almost there. You can almost touch it, smell it, feel it. But at what cost? Did you stop for a second to look at the price you pay along the way. Do you even recognize yourself anymore. Who are you? And what are you doing with your life? Really?!

I don’t have all the answers, or maybe I do and I’m just too afraid to confront myself with it. Afraid to try things the unknown way, the bold way. Afraid to go against everything I have ever known. Afraid to find myself one day standing alone because I know, in order to be true to myself, I will let go of everything and everyone that stands in the way.

On the other hand, I do know this, that losing yourself in the process of obtaining what seems to be the best thing for you, is not actually happiness. One day you will stop to wonder, what is happiness anyway? And how did it become to be what we made it out to be. And why can’t it mean something entirely different. We don’t dare to confront the real issues because we are too scared to do it. We are scared to even question ourselves because maybe deep down we know the answer will lead us to more questions than answers. So in the end, we stick to what we are used to and THINK we know. It’s easier that way; isn’t it???

So what is the answer? Perhaps start by admitting to yourself that there is more to you than what you are living. Perhaps start by letting go of all your fears. Take some time for yourself to be in a quiet place, alone with no distraction. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and surrender yourself to the inner side of you. The one you always ignore. The one you know exists but too busy to find out who that is. That is the real you, your inner voice, the one that feels, the one that knows all the answers.  The one that has the key to your inner peace. The one that will lead you to your true happiness. The one that is detached from the outer world. If you are ready for this step, you will do it. You will get in touch with your deeper side.

At first, you will be shocked from the depth of this revelation. It will all seem unreal yet so real. You will experience contradicting emotions; all at the same time. It will be hard to grasp because it is. Here I am telling you I know how it feels, I am struggling with it myself. But I’m also here to tell you: Don’t worry about what others think of you or how you fit in your society. This same society you want to fit in so badly, is the same one that brings you grief and unhappiness. There are too many unrealistic expectations of you, too many rules you are expected to live by. Rules that don’t make sense; rules that were man-made. Rules that were enforced so that the rich get more powerful and the poor get poorer. You have truly misunderstood that statement. You are associating richness and poorness with money and status. Have you ever looked beyond that?

The true meaning behind the rich get richer and the poor get poorer is simply a state of mind. Not how much money you have and not your social-class status. It is all in the mind. The rich have powers that go beyond money. It is the control. They control YOU, your emotions, your self-worth; your existence. They are moving you as puppets. They figured: ‘why not?  If there are idiots who believe in what we are selling them on’. It’s your ignorance that got you in that place from the start. It’s your problem, not theirs. You seem to be sold on the idea that you must work hard and be a Slave to the money that will buy you peace of mind and happiness. And you seem to think that this is the only way. And so you go on living by this mentality and as you do, they break you little by little. You give in with one thing, then another, then another, until you have lost yourself completely.

How appealing and how tempting all those offers to be rich and powerful. You must buy this and you must have that. If you want to be one of the special ones, then you must do this and this. If you want to be part of this VIP group then you must own that and have accomplished this. Everything revolves around egotistical and materialistic pleasures. And the list never ends. The wants never end and once you obtain something, you go after the next. Apparently, this will bring you happiness. Or so we have been programmed. And let’s not forget the rules that the religious institutions created to keep the public in check – in other words – under control.

Notice something here, the government wants to control you, (and brain wash you), religious institutions want to control you, your work tries to control you, (and enslave you), your parents try to control you, (and sometimes act like they own you), your spouse tries to control you (and if they can’t then manipulate you) ….. what’s up with all those people who have control issues. Why they feel the need they must control someone else? Or things have to be their way!! Is it the understanding of power? Or is that their method of keeping things in order? So the only way is to erase people’s minds? Play on their weaknesses and guilt them if necessary. And in the end convince themselves it’s for everyone’s own good. Isn’t that right?!

Unfortunately, the majority of mankind is oblivious to all of this. And if they get a glimpse of it, it’s too scary to confront it, so they prefer to keep the blinders on and pretend it is not so, or worse, justify it. Then there are those who see it clearly, but accept it and feel they must abide in order to live. And then there are the few who see everything clearly, they refuse to be part of this and they fight the system on their own, in hopes they will make a difference or at least to stay true to themselves and live by the principles they believe in, no matter the consequences or the hardships or the wars they will fight, just to be who they want to be.

In the end, we are all afraid. Afraid to be who we truly are. Afraid to face ourselves with our shortfalls and our complacency. Afraid to confront the system and those who try to overpower us, enslave us, and brain wash us. Afraid to stand up to ourselves. So afraid, that we bow our heads down, bury our dreams and deny our true-selves. All; in order to fit in a meaningless society, living empty lives, fulfilling fake happiness. The choice is yours, stay afraid or Live.

One comment on “AFRAID

  1. “I do know this, that losing yourself in the process of obtaining what seems to be the best thing for you, is not actually happiness.”


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