This is my personal message to all my friendships. Please feel free to share my article or copy the link; whatever you like to do if this message has something you always wanted to say but couldn’t put it into words. A lot of times, we have so much we want to say, but can’t express it. And many times we are scared to say what we really want to say because we don’t want to lose the people we love. But isn’t it worse to lose them if you don’t say what really needs to be said?
A new year is upon us, turning a new page in our life; starting fresh. So let’s do it with conviction. Let’s make some things clear.
As a female friend to single male friends, this is a message for you: I am your friend because I choose to be. I am your friend because I value ‘You’ in my life. I am your friend because I want to give you my care and love without much expectations. Yes, I admit I have a few expectations. All I want is for you to know that I will be there for you through thick and thin, whether I am in a relationship or not, you are a priority for me, I respect you and I love you unconditionally. What do I want in return, don’t throw me to the side or hide me or be scared of our friendship when the ‘New girl’ arrives in your life. That’s not too much to ask my dear friend! Or is it?
As a female friend to my married male friends, this is my message for you: I may have been your friend before you got married or we may have developed our friendship while you have a family. My principle is the same; either, or. If you are keeping me a secret from your wife, or not inviting me over to be friends with your wife, or deleting your conversations with me because you are scared of your wife finding out you are speaking to me; then I don’t need this friendship. If you are unable to be transparent about our innocent friendship, and if your wife doesn’t want me in your life period (for whatever reasons), I’d rather you be honest with me and tell me, cause I don’t need this friendship. I’m not hiding anything because I’m not doing anything wrong. If by any chance you allowed yourself to have feelings for me and that’s why you are behaving with such secrecy, then you should just end this friendship because you are not being fair to yourself, your wife or ME.
As a female friend to my female friends married or not, this is a message for you: I love you dearly and you know I would do anything for you. If I consider you a sister and I treat you as such, if I make the effort and time to see you, if I am messaging you, calling you, asking to spend time with you; know this much, you mean more to me than words could ever describe. I am a very understanding friend. I always consider that you are busy in your life especially if you have children. I will work around your schedule as much as I can. I will keep making the effort and I will keep rescheduling our meet-ups and quality girlfriend time. But be ware by dear friend, there is so much understanding I can have if you keep cancelling our meetings or making time for our friendship. There will come a time when I can’t continue keeping this friendship alive and strong alone. I understand it’s difficult to juggle everything at once. All I ask, is make the same effort I am making for our beautiful friendship to grow.
A general message to all my friends: If you won’t fight for my friendship, if you won’t make the effort to maintain and grow the friendship, if you are always waiting for me to contact you, if you will only make time for me when you have nothing else going on in your life, I don’t need this friendship. I am not a friend of convenience. I want to be your friend by choice. This is what I will accept. And I deserve this and no less.
I am starting the new year by being honest and clear. This is not a message to anyone in particular. This is simply how I feel. Once again I refer to a quote by Oprah Winfrey from her book ‘What I know for sure’: “I will act with the intent to be true to myself”. And let me add to that in my own words and you can quote me if you like: “I will love myself by letting go of whoever and whatever does not serve me right. And I will accept that some friends are not real, though time will reveal who is and who is not. I am ready to make whatever changes necessary to have healthy and meaningful friendships in my life.” This is a promise I make to myself.
For the single friends: I tell you this don’t let your life take you, your job take you, your new man/woman take you from the true and loyal friends you have. Keep your priorities straight my dear friends.