Under Attack

Have you ever felt like you are under attack by some people in your life. Even more, by the same people. And the worst part they are supposed to be the closest people to you. I have tried to find an explanation, but no matter which way I look at it; it’s just wrong.

So why are they attacking you all the times. Why are they knocking down your ideas, or thoughts or point of views. Why does it feel like you can never be good enough. Anything you say, they will find a fault in it somehow. Anything you do, will be critiqued. Even if you are telling scientific facts, you still get doubted. Seriously, if I wasn’t a self-confident person; I would have been shattered by now.

The question here is, what are these people’s intention when they do this. Is it out of love? Is it out of Ego? Is it out of false perceptions? Are they brain washed? The questions can go on and on but I guess we will never really know the truth!! Because sometimes, they don’t even recognize they are doing it. It’s like an automatic response. And if you confront them with what they are doing and tell them how you feel about it, they get defensive and deny that they are doing this; and quickly twist everything around to make you out to be this insecure person who can’t handle listening to people’s opinions. Hahahaha. Right. Yup. That’s what’s happening here. I am the one under attack, yet I am the one who is insecure. That’s why it’s better to be quiet and not even mention it. They will keep doing it anyway.

I try to find a lesson to be learned from this scenario. That’s what I’ve been doing a lot lately. I’m trying to not focus too much on the issue and look beyond it. What is this trying to teach me? That’s been my new philosophy in life. At least I do my best to remind myself whenever I get caught up in the emotions and I’m feeling like I have been wronged.

It’s true, it is wrong for people to criticize you all the time and to attack you verbally and make you feel like you know nothing. However, you know better. You know deep down who you are. And these people’s opinions don’t really matter. You can’t control what they think of you. And at times you can’t control how they treat you either. The only thing you can do is how much you allow this treatment to continue and repeat itself over and over. In some cases, as in mine, it’s hard to cut these people from your life. And it’s hopeless case trying to explain that this treatment hurts. It goes on deaf ears. So the only thing to do at this point is either to avoid being in such situations where it allows them to insult and attack, or to listen through one ear, out the next. What else can be done at this point.

One thing I can tell you, this is teaching me how to handle the idea of being rejected. Perhaps, there is a deeper lesson here for me to learn, other than being undermined. It is a feeling of being rejected. I know it may not make sense to everyone, but it makes sense to me. I feel that I needed to learn this very big lesson in different ways. Over the course of my life so far, this has been a recurring issue. And for the first time I see it clearly. It had to take all these hurtful experiences for me to finally get it. I must overcome the need to be accepted. Thus, there will be no fear of rejection or hurt from rejection, because rejection itself doesn’t really exist.

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