7 Principles of Successful Relationships – Dr. John Gottmans

1. Enhance your love maps –

You know all of your partner’s relevant information, from life dreams to favourite movies, as a best friend would.

2. Nurture fondness and admiration

You have a positive view and deep appreciation of your partner, and express it.

3. Turn toward your partner instead of away during times of stress

“You want your partner to be that confidante” Gover says.

4. Let your partner influence you

You shouldn’t make important life decisions autonomously, as a single person would.

5. Solve your solvable problems

All couples have solvable and perpetual problems, but long-term couples solve those they can and understand there will always be perpetual problems.

6. Overcome gridlock

What often underlies perpetual problems are unfulfilled dreams. Talk about those dreams with the goal of making peace with the problem.

7. Create shared meaning

Develop the big and small rituals that help build the bond with your partner. Rituals range from hosting an annual party to having coffee together in the morning.

A lesson to learn – March

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