In one of my groups on a social media platform, a question was raised for discussion. A few members engaged in the subject, and so did I. I felt an inspiration of some sort to write a response not knowing exactly what to write but I knew what I wanted to express.
“Most people can list the things that they do not want in a relationship but there’s one that is the deal breaker. What is yours? Selfishness is my #1 deal breaker.” – member of the group asks.
“Respect for me is the deal breaker. If there is no respect, there is no trust in the person’s ability to truly love. How can you love me when you don’t respect me. Which means you could also be lying or cheating. If you can’t respect the person you love, you can and will do other things indicative of that lack of respect.
Respect in the way they speak to you.
Respect in the way they see you / think of you.
Respect in the way they treat you.
Respect in the way they speak to others about you.
Respect in the way they have expectations of you.
Respect in the way they allow you the space and freedom to be the individual you are.
Respect in listening when you speak attentively without interruption or imposing their opinion on you.
Respect your wishes when you make requests for some time to work out some emotional stuff on your own if that’s what you need, without making you feel guilty about it.
Respect decisions and choices that strictly relates to you, without questioning you repeatedly. Which leads ultimately to shaking the foundation of trust. It’s ok to disagree and see things differently. But the moment you can’t respect your differences and agree to disagree, there is no partnership. It has turned into a war.”
My response got a few likes and few positive feedbacks which I truly did appreciate. Thus encouraging me to write an article relating to my train of thoughts.
I feel, humanity has lost a myriad of foundational laws that are the basis for our existence and personal interactions. What do I really mean by that? Let me explain.
When we refer to our grandparents and great grandparents and so forth, we tend to observe certain qualities that they had in their time versus in our times. Today, when we speak of past years, we refer to it as: ‘the good ol’ days.’ Ever wonder why we seem to be fond of older generations and older times. Ever hear people say: ‘I love listening to older music and watching older movies.’ Or even go as far to say: ‘I wish we didn’t have the internet.’ There is a reason why we are gravitating to the way things were and how things were done, how our great grandparents lived, and what life meant back then.
This is an indication that even though ‘our world’ supposedly advanced and we evolved as humans. As much as we improved in science and innovation, advanced in technology and medical discoveries. Even as far as surpassing our expectations in our abilities to explore outside our own ‘earthly bubble’, traveling beyond space and time. Even with all the luxuries, and easier lifestyles we live today. We may have gained an indescribable amount of knowledge and advancement, at the same time, we may have lost some of the most crucial fundamentals of who we are as humans.
How are we doing now on the respect front in general? Ask yourselves … watch how the new generations speak to their elderly. Whatever happened to ‘Auntie and Uncle’, to actually calling your parents ‘Mom and Dad’ … never mind saying ‘M’am and Sir’ which I can’t say I personally agree to, but it was beneficial for discipline in some cultures and it may have been applied incorrectly.
Be that as it may, my point is, how much respect is there today with the newer generations. Where is the respect to food, as we sit and eat at the table, or even the appreciation for having a plate of food with variety of items you get to choose. Now we easily throw food in the garbage and on the streets. We rather discard of leftovers than make an effort to donating them for the homeless and hungry, cause it’s easier. Where is the respect to the gift of food itself and to our fellow man just the same. What kind of examples are we teaching our children when they observe the adults they look up to, behave and think in such manners. What kind of education is the government contributing to the new generation, when all they care about is placing laws and enforcing ‘safety standards and procedures’.
What about some ‘humanity laws’. What about some ‘compassion, kindness and understanding’. What about teaching some ‘love fundamentals’, along with some ‘respect, patience and gratitude’. Instead of focusing on raising a generation towards ambition for individual success and attainment of status and materials, which in turn teaches selfishness and generates an egotistical, self-centred society. And instead of encouraging a generation of fixation on technology and social media interactions, which creates a world with social deficiency. Why not go back to how our ancestors taught the generations from which all those great discoveries and advancement arose from.
Why not blend the evolved state of being, humanity reached to with the basic foundation of what it means to be intrinsically human. Why not teach the new generation all those great qualities that will help them thrive and advance further. Why not go back to remembering the meaning of parenting and being an educator. Why not pay close attention to the impact of governments’ laws on tomorrow’s children.
I believe there is hope for humanity to take a sharp turn and come around. I believe the new generations can be saved from total destruction. I choose to keep the faith in tomorrow’s children. Perhaps they will succeed and evolve without the need for power, greed, selfishness, lack of respect, lack of compassion, lack of empathy, lack of loving-kindness; in summary, lack of being the true meaning of a human.