Do you know the key to forgiveness?
For me – this was probably one of the toughest lessons in my life. I had to endure so much until I was able to reach the point where I am currently. Even with that, I have a long way to go.
I struggle with letting things go when someone dear to me is being hurt by someone else. Strange, I can forgive someone for hurting me but I cannot easily forgive when they are hurting someone I love. I am learning to apply the same perspective as it applies to me.
The key to forgiveness I learned, is to understand that in forgiving them – I am releasing myself from the hold they got over me by their hurtful actions. It is in no way condoning or accepting the wrong doing. It is not a favour I am doing to the wrong doer. Forgiveness is for me. Forgiveness is so that I can move on with my life. Forgiveness is the antidote to living with resentment, bitterness, anger or denial to feelings in extreme cases.
Many people say to me: “I have forgiven” Then I watch their behaviour and I see their face reacts when confronted with their ‘wrong doer’. There is a contradiction.
It is easy to fool and convince yourself that you have forgiven. You are only causing yourself more harm and stretching out the toxic energy in your life. The longer you hold on to resentment, the more you will suffer. Let it go …. It’s done. The damage is done. The hurt is done. It’s finished. Stop keeping it alive by your stubbornness. You are only hurting yourself.
Have you truly forgiven them? Be honest.