Did you just wake up and realize – you were sleeping with the devil?

And one day, you wake up, and realize .. you have been sleeping with the devil. How could you have known? There were no obvious signs. Or maybe you couldn’t see them. Can a devil appear with wings?

The devil was disguised in a soft white satin cloak, emanating an intoxicating scent and alluring bright light. It was captivating, hypnotizing, and mesmerizing. Too good to be true. You questioned at first! “Is it possible? Is it finally my time to live my happily ever after? Did I finally meet the one I have been praying for all my life?”

The more you get to know about this person, the more it seems you are living in a dream. “How could this be? Where were you all my life? Why didn’t you come sooner? I have been waiting for you .. for this moment – to feel complete. Yes – it feels right .. so right. I want this” – you say to yourself.

“I want it all. And I am going to hold on to this no matter what.”

An unconscious contract you sign – is the beginning of falling into the depth of hell itself. You decided that you will close your eyes, block your ears, shut your mouth and rewrite reality ignorantly. Long before you lived any of the drama to ensue, you agreed to it silently.

The drama you could not anticipate. That which you were probably escaping in a different dynamic. This new story ends up being the worst story of your life. But you didn’t know any of this would happen. You blinded yourself because you were hanging on to what you believed to be “the rescue”, “the dream come true”, “the chance of a lifetime” … and all the fantasies that come with those types of thoughts.

It felt like bliss being in their presence for a while. But then, things were never the same as when it all began … you noticed it but you quickly dismissed it. Slowly, slowly, you learned to justify, believe the elaborate stories you were told, fall into the cycle of intense love only to have the rug pulled out from underneath you rapidly that you could not grasp what hit you. Just as quickly as you spiralled into the density of this reality, you find yourself floating on the clouds, unsure when and how you got there. And when you live this on repeat, inevitably, the truth will stare you right in the face. The fog clears. The darkness dissipates. The obscure becomes blatant.

The heavenly life that was promised turned into the slowest death. The love that once comforted turned into a shattering of the soul. It all happened so fast. Or did it? Did time stop? Or were you living in a different timeline or a parallel universe?

All you know, is that you have been sharing a bed with the devil. You experienced it all. You couldn’t see it before – now you do. Their wickedness, deception, maliciousness, malevolence, and pure destruction.

How did they accomplish this? By the seven D’s

• Distract – change subject / blame shift / triangulate
• Discourage – delay / failure / disappointment / affection withdrawal
• Doubt – project / question sanity / memory / self-esteem
• Defeat – intimidate / control / bully / senseless arguments / suck energy / toxic loop
• Destroy – gaslight / diminish self-worth / dreams / independence
• Despair – hopelessness / loneliness / isolate from loved ones
• Deceive – manipulate / constant lies / fake promises / actions / fake apologies

Maybe it is all making sense to you now.

Maybe there is a lot more healing to be done.

Maybe you are still stuck in this toxic dynamic.

Maybe you are still sleeping with the devil.

Maybe you are ready to get out.

Maybe you need support and a safe space to process.

Wherever you are on your journey – be sure the help you need will be out there when you are ready for it. I am here for you. I see you. I feel you. I can’t promise you it will all go away overnight. I can tell you though .. I am now in a much better place than I ever was. I chose to do the uncomfortable inner work to heal. I chose to rise. I chose to rebuild. What are you choosing?

Watch my YouTube videos to learn more about toxic and narcissistic relationships, coping when leaving isn’t possible, and making sense of what you lived through .. from someone who’s been there and made it to the other side

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There is no rush. No pressure. Just options.