Time passes; You grow older and the people in your life do too. But we don’t realize it until their behaviour changes. It may start with the oldest generation you are in contact with; your grandparents for instance. Then you notice your own parents are getting older and changing in many ways. All of a sudden you look around and it seems that everybody had gotten older; even yourself. But where were you all this time while age was taking place. Where were you when everything was changing around you. Living life I guess. But we don’t take time notice the changes until something serious happens that wakes us up. And after some time, we go back to our norm, we go back to living with blinders until the next wake up call.
I don’t know why it takes us so long to notice the changes that take place in our lives. Maybe we are so caught up in it, that we are so distracted from what is taking place. We live like Robots. We are stuck inside of a circle that we created ourselves, yet we convince ourselves that “it happened to us”. Nothing happened, we did it. And we don’t see it and we don’t correct it because we don’t know how else to live.
I look around me and just in my inner circle of family I see changed individuals compared to a few years back. The change is so dramatic and obvious; at least in my perspective. Maybe because I was away from them for so long that I am able to see it. And Maybe I am just different or maybe I am more observant. I don’t know. But what I do know is that they don’t realize their own changes. Everyone will notice a few wrinkles or weight loss/gain. Perhaps changes in the hair and the skin. But do they take time to notice the changes within??? I doubt it. Who am I to judge anyway. Maybe they do realize and they like what they see. It’s also possible that they don’t like what they have become and they don’t know how else to be. Therefore, choosing to accept themselves as they are – good or bad. But in their eyes, they are just fine and anyone with a different opinion is just crazy.
This is why I don’t really confront anyone with their changes. I don’t put it in their faces that they have truly lost their way. And it’s not because I’m afraid to say it, or worried from their reaction. Simply, what I say will go on deaf ears. Because in the end, what matters is their own inner voice. No matter how much sense you make or what good points you bring up. They just don’t want to listen. Because they are in their comfort zone. They are happy like that. They don’t see anything wrong that needs correcting. So tell me now, what would be the point in saying anything to them. It will only create hard feelings and in the end, they will still be who they choose to be. No one ever changed because someone else told them to. Everyone makes their own choice and we all have to accept each other as we are, even if we don’t agree.
Likewise, they don’t agree about most of my decisions. The difference is, they make sure to tell me that I am wrong and that I should be like this and I should be doing that. The advice keep on coming regardless if wanted or not. Everyone has an opinion about my life and everyone has to give their two cents. And I must listen and sit there and take criticism constantly on every subject whether its their business or not. How dare I put them in their place. How ungrateful and disrespectful would I be if I were to say: “Thanks, but no Thanks.” Nope, they give themselves the right to judge me, scold me, correct me, guide me and when necessary make me feel bad about myself. Or wait, it is not only when necessary, its kinda like all the time I should say.
And here I am being the bigger person, taking it all in and trying to remain calm. Trying is the key word, because there are times when it just becomes too much. Too much interfering, too much getting involved in things they have no business getting into. And I wonder, how come it is okay for them to meddle in my business, but it is a crime if I were to dare and make a comment about their business. Not that I do, but if I were to even think of saying one sentence as a remark on a situation, hell breaks loose. All of a sudden, the “private life” word comes up. I guess that is something will never change.
Some battles are a lost cause. This is one of them. And in my life, I learned that sometimes you gotta let people be. The only thing I can do is continue to be ME and lead by example, even if I am younger in age. Those who choose to see, will change. And those who refuse to see, will continue to be the same. And that’s just fine. It’s their life. It’s their journey. It’s their lessons to learn. In the end, we all change with time. And in the end, we all get older and leave this world.