Earning A Child’s Trust

Never underestimate the need to earn the trust of a child. A mother earns her baby’s trust almost automatically as there is an unspoken, undeniable bond between the two. It all started while baby was in the womb and after birth it gets stronger; as mommy cares for her baby in every way. Anyone else who becomes a caregiver for a child earns trust in a few moments from the initial interaction, followed by a series of actions.

Consistency is one of the most important points for trust to be built. Delivering to the promises you make is another key point. As an adult, you have a huge responsibility to provide care for the child you have been entrusted with. All caregivers must be aware that it is a blessing to have someone else’s child; trusting in you. It is not a given that they will. Children have a strong sense to who is truly genuine towards them.

A child may play with you, listen to you, and may even allow you to change them or assist them with their basic needs, but it doesn’t mean they are connected to you. For a real connection to be built, it must be felt. You can’t fake that, even if you tried. The child knows who is real and who isn’t. They may not be able to say it in words, but they show it in their actions.

When you see that smile on their face when they see you in the morning. When they jump up and down and all they want to do is touch you, be near you, and get you involved in whatever they can to get your attention. It is when you disappear from their view, they look for you. When they leave their favourite toy and come running to sit in your lap and ask you to play. When they ask you to feed them, take them to the toilet, cover them at nap time or simply just asking you to read them a story. It is when they choose you; that’s when you know, you built a true unbreakable connection based on trust and pure love.

That is one of the most beautiful things you can ever experience with a child that isn’t your own. You get attached and it’s difficult to let them go when they get older and move on to the next classroom. However, you are proud of their accomplishments and how much they have grown. In the end, nothing beats that feeling of innocent love with a child. One that must be forever cherished.

I had the blessing and privilege to experience caring for children who are not mine. I cared for my friends’ children, family members, children that ended up in my care as a result of a romantic relationship, and as a daycare teacher. They all brought me joy like no other. They were at different age groups. But mostly very young. I cannot describe to you how it feels, when you create a bond with a child that is not your own. The love they express, the trust they show and the attachment they build, is something that no words can ever describe. I am so lucky I had those times and those experiences.

I learned, that earning a child’s trust comes from action. From being consistent as I mentioned earlier. Just because you are dealing with a child, does not mean you don’t put the same effort in respecting them. We are aware of that when it comes to our adult interactions. What about the child? Don’t they also deserve respect. They are little humans, that’s all. So when you make a promise to a child, follow through. Otherwise, don’t promise.

Don’t forget that you are teaching that child, by being the example. They will copy you in everything. I mean everything. And if you ever disrespect them, they will remind you of that later. And if you ever fail to fulfill a promise you made, they will also remind you later. Be mindful when you are interacting with a child. They pick up on your vibes. They feel your emotions – all of them. They may not verbalize, but you will see it in their reactions.

I just wanted to share this with you, since this subject, the children subject, is a dear one to my heart. I may not be a Mom biologically, that does not prevent me from being motherly and providing love, care and at times tips from my own experiences.

Blessings to all.

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