“The best thing about memories is making them” – Unknown Author

At any given moment, you can pause and reflect, there you are taking yourself back in time, remembering what once was. What are memories, other than moments previously lived. All that is left of them are flashbacks in your mind’s eye or photos and videos, that are physical evidence of a framed precise moment. Some of those memories are the reason why we are still pushing through this life. Some are holding us back from living. Everything has its opposite polls. Memories are no different. The question here, are memories affecting the quality of your current life?

We can never physically capture every single moment. We choose special ones. At least ones that were deemed important at that time. We can’t be clicking, clicking as we breathe second by second, minute by minute. It’s not logical. Or possible for that matter.

Although, the way we live nowadays and with the addiction to social media. It seems that we are almost capturing every waking moment. It’s as if we are so addicted to creating memories because we are not accepting living our reality.

We would rather escape our current conditions by being caught up in the memories we create. Not realizing, the more we focus on capturing a moment, indeed we are not enjoying that moment. We are too busy making it pretty so that we look at it later, post it online, and show the world how happy we are. How happy can you be when you are not even living that moment? Your camera is. Anyway, That’s another topic all together. Back to memories and how they affect us.

A photo can speak a thousand words. A look can say everything, a pose can depict a story untold. It’s in the little details that are usually missed that the true story is told. There may be too many visual distractions that we miss the point in the photo itself. But how many people sit and analyze their photos to this degree after it has been taken? How many people actually want to know the story? Most of us are caught up in looking at the photo for the mere satisfaction of claiming that we lived that moment, supposedly enjoyed it, and still remembering it as if it just happened.

“A picture is timeless. A unique combination of tiny pixels, that when placed alongside one another create a magnificent insight into a story or gives life to a moment or a memory through the lens of a camera or perhaps beautiful brushstrokes.” Aisha L V N.

While I believe that Photographs are the best way to capture the sentiment of a moment, I can also tell you from personal experience, you cannot usually feel the same intense feelings as you did in those moments. No matter how hard you try. The moment that passes, never comes back. We can try all we want to hold on as much as we can. But it will never be the same again.

You can even go as far as replicating the moment: same people, same place, same time of day, same clothes, same hair style if you can … it will still not be the same. Because you are not the same person you were then. You have grown. You have experienced new things since then, maybe learned a thing or two. Your feelings are just not the same. You have evolved whether you recognize it or not. You may think everything is still the same, but in reality it is not.

Our mind on the other hand, may have captured its own frame. Perhaps it’s an emotion felt that was stored and kept under lock and key in the vault of our memories.

Was it too painful? Then maybe our mind needed to escape it, as we weren’t able to digest it, thus denying it ever happened and decided to run away from it.

Was it too joyful? Then maybe our mind is trying to protect it from being lost, thus burying it deep, hoping it is safe where it’s kept.

Memories are part of who we are. We can’t escape them. We can’t run away from them. We can’t pretend they never happened. Just as we can’t pretend that they never ended. Let me correct myself, I use the word ‘can’t’ because I know this to be true for me. I’m reminding myself of what I sometimes forget. A more appropriate word here maybe ‘it is not wise to.’

Indeed, it is not wise to live in denial. It is not wise to live in the past either. However, it is wise to accept that memories can sometimes hold us back from moving forward. There is a fine line between remembering something that happened for a brief moment, crack a smile or take a deep breath, versus being stuck by continuing to have negative reactions every time we remember. Even at times, causing us to make decisions in our present and future influenced by those memories.

“Memories take us back. Dreams move us forward” – unknown author

There are endless triggers that can cause us to go down memory lane. You may get triggered by smell, sight, sound, touch, or taste. In a split of a second we are taken back to a memory of a place once visited or lived, a sentimental object we once owned, a song attached to a memorable event or person, food item attached to a certain time in childhood, a toy we once loved, a person who is no longer in the physical world, a job we once did, someone we once had a relationship with, a distinctive smell, a funny thing someone said, an embarrassing thing we once did, a moment we wished would never end, and perhaps a moment we wished to never be reminded of.

There is nothing wrong in having memories. And absolutely none in creating new ones. As long as we are not too caught up in the creation and not enjoying every moment we get to experience. It’s okay not to take a picture. It’s okay to savour the moment and let your mind capture an organic photo. If it’s meant to be remembered in the future, it will arise.

Our past memories are just that, past. They are done. The moment came. The moment went. Let it be. It was meant to be lived at that time only. The circumstances will never be the same again. You will never be that age, look the way you do, think and feel as you did then. Accept that what happened was part of your journey. The good times and the bad times. Smile about them both. They are both helping you grow. You can’t have one without the other my friend.

It’s up to us how memories influence the quality of our life today. We can use memories to heal from past wounds. And we can also have them a thorn in our side or hearts in some cases.

Is the memory causing you to fear taking a step forward?

Is your memory influencing you to repeat history in hopes of recapturing similar outcomes?

Is your memory a motivation to keep growing?

Or is your memory keeping you stuck in pain, fear, uncertainty, regret and self-doubt?

How are you allowing memories to affect you?

You can’t say it is not. Because it is. For every human being who has lived, is living and continue to live, memories will be part of the human experience. The question remains, how is it affecting? Better yet, what are you allowing? Ask yourself.

“The best memories of our life can never be captured in pictures, they are always captured by heart.” – Unknown Author