The answer is no. The pain doesn’t really go away. It just takes different forms. You feel it differently. It hits you differently. You process it differently. The intensity will be less and less as time goes by. One thing I can tell you, it never goes away. 

You don’t know what healing from grief looks like until you go through it. If you don’t experience a loss from an early age, you are blessed. But when you start losing people as they age, it never stops. 

Whether it’s a distant family member or a close one. Whether it’s a tragic accident or old age. Whether it’s an illness or a sudden loss of life. It doesn’t matter the reason. You will go through grief. 

The ones you were connected to the most will hit you the hardest. Not necessarily the closest in blood relationship, but closest to your heart. The memories will creep up on you year after year. The places you once visited together. The laughter you shared. Even the silly disagreements. You will find yourself questioning if you did all the things you wished. If you said all the right things, did all the right things. You wonder if they forgive you for any silliness you did. You wonder if they are happy where they are now. 

I know this to be true. I know there is peace there. I know there is no pain. I know there is joy more than any joy experienced here on earth. I know this to be true. And that comforts me. 

Yet, the pain you feel when you hear their voice. Oh how much you miss hearing their voice. How much you miss their touch. How much you miss sitting with them talking about nonsense. You will never stop missing them. You will never stop loving them. You will never stop wishing you could have one more day, even one more moment to look into their eyes and tell them everything without saying a word. They would know it, smile with those deep eyes and hug you with their warmth. 

Only then, you know you will be okay. Maybe you just met them in your imagination. Maybe you just hugged them. Maybe they are always around you. Whenever you think of them, they are right there by your side comforting you. They miss you too. But for them, it’s different. They are always there watching out for you.  You just forget they are there.

So feel them around you. Close your eyes and let yourself go there. There where they are. They will meet you. And you can tell them anything you want. They hear you. 

Maybe this brief encounter eases the pain. Just for today. And that’s okay. Tomorrow will be a new day. Whenever you need them, call out on them and they will be right there. As they always are.