What is a Mother?
I dedicate this to my own mother. She is a mother like no other. She may not be exactly how I want her to be but I only wish one day I can be half the mother she is to me.
Mothers play an imperative role in their children’s lives. From the experiences I lived in my own family, I saw a mother that loves with no end. A mother that gives with no limits. A mother that forgives with no grudges. A mother that would not hesitate to give her own self for the happiness and well-being of her own family. I learned all that from my mother and I will be forever grateful to her for that.
Don’t get me wrong, my mother and I do not always agree on everything in life, especially how I seem to be always making the wrong decisions in my life ….. At first, I used to think: “my mother is trying to control me”, and while there can be some truth to that statement, I still believe the driving force is Love. When a mother loves, she loves so deeply, she cannot do or be anything other than. I thank my mother now for being harsh at times, strict at times, overprotective at times (actually that is all the times), even mean at times. I learned a lot from those experiences, even though at the time I did not like it one bit, so now I tell her: “Thank you for loving me that much”. I ask myself: “does she hurt when I hurt?, does she feel my pain?” As crazy as it is, I believe she does. I do not understand how because maybe I need to be a mother to feel it myself. But I can just imagine.
A mother’s role in my eyes is so much more than giving birth, feeding, changing, clothing, schooling .. etc. I am not taking for granted the necessities of life, I am simply looking at all angles. A mother can give so much more to her child, things that cannot be touched, but felt and experienced. One of the most influential rolls a mother can play in her children’s lives; is being the role model through leading by example. Children learn so much from observing their mother’s actions. They do not know they are being influenced until the day comes and they find themselves doing things the same way ‘mommy’ did.
I believe a mother is the core of everything in one’s life. I cannot step one foot on this earth without my mother’s blessings. I learned the hard way: ‘not to defy your own mother’, as it will come back to bite you eventually. If we are not grateful to the source that gave us life, we will not experience a blessed life.
I cannot tell you I know how a mother should be or should not be. It is not my place to do so. But I do have an idea of what is important in a child’s life. Is there a perfect mother out there? I really do not know. Maybe there is and maybe there is not. And who is deciding the level of perfection anyways? I say everyone is just perfect the way they are with their faults and weaknesses. We are all perfect human beings. God created us as such. We may differ from each other in characteristics, point of views, experiences, upbringings, cultures, languages .. etc. At the end of the day we are the same. So who am I to judge anyone around me, especially my mother. She is who she is and destiny brought me in her life for a reason that is yet to be understood. I choose to believe that so I can grow as an individual.
Those of you out there who lost their mothers – I am sorry for your loss, I am sure your mother was a beautiful soul. She is still with you in your heart.
Those of you who never met your mother – I can imagine the emptiness you felt or still feel – rest assured, she is looking out for you all the times.
Those of you who have issues with your mothers, possibly have not seen or talked to in quite some time – put your differences aside if you can and reach out again. This is your mother – when she is gone, you cannot bring her back and you will not have the chance to tell her you love her.
Those of you who have their mothers in your lives but wish your mother was different – I say to you open up to your mother and tell her how you feel and if she hurt you intentionally or unintentionally, forgive her from your heart and accept her for who she is. You cannot change who she is, what she does or does not do, what she says or does not say, how she shows her feelings towards you or not … whatever the case may be – there must a reason for it, you just do not know it yet. Give your mother the benefit of the doubt, maybe there has been a miscommunication or maybe she is scared and does not know how to handle it. Maybe you are in her life because you are stronger than her and it is you who needs to help her and comfort her, not the other way around. If your cross is too heavy to carry, reach deep within you and you shall find the strength you need to fulfill your purpose. “God does not give you more than you can handle.”
I take this opportunity to reach out to every mother out there and say: “Thank you for the love you have given, thank you for the sacrifices you have made and continue to make, thank you for understanding your role and doing what needs to be done, thank you for giving unconditionally and loving unselfishly, thank you for being you and for bringing into this world a precious gift”
And now this is my chance to say to my mom: “I love you more than you will ever know, I am grateful for what you have taught me, I am thankful for all that you have given me, I am appreciative to all that you have done for me, and I will forever hold you in my heart even when we separate. Thank you for being my mother and thank you for loving me the way you do.”