What you bring out in me …

Certain friends bring out certain sides of me. Certain family members bring out other sides of me. People in general, they all bring out different sides of me. It all depends on the way they treat you and behave around you. It also depends on your susceptibility to get influenced and affected by your surroundings. It is human nature to constantly go through changes. But does that include who we are and how we behave as well? Have you ever wondered why you have become the way you are? Why you act in certain ways around specific people? Do you recognize when you switch your behaviors especially when you are in the presence of certain individuals? And the most important question to ask yourself: do you like what you see?

I have always been aware of this fact, that I am capable of being a certain person around certain people. But I’m not always behaving the same. That’s not saying I am not strong enough to be who I want to be and to behave in the way I believe. Simply, I realize that when I am around different personalities, certain sides come out of me, not to fit in per say, but because there is a desire within me to explore this side or to live it even if temporary. Who I am, is who I am. The core of me will not change with the tide. I am strong in my beliefs and desires to be the person that I am. However, different sides of me, intrigue me. Is it possible that I am capable of being and doing so many things that I was not even aware that was possible. Is it something that all of us have and we don’t know it until it manifests itself with time. It’s possible. Why not?

Most of us know who we are. I say most, because some people are lost and are in constant search of who they are and what they want to be. That’s not the people I am referring to. I am talking about: you know who you are, you know what you are made of; likes, dislikes, desires, capabilities …etc. You find yourself at times enjoying things with let’s say a bunch of friends and it had never crossed your mind before. So it brings out in you something, I can’t really put it into words here, but I am trying. It’s like you are a different person in a way, but you are not at all, it’s still you, but with a twist.

The best way is to give examples. For instance, I find myself enjoying adventure when I am around adventurous people. Typically, I lead a very safe and non-risky life even when I decide to have fun. But when I am presented with the opportunity to explore this side and when I hang around individuals who live this way, I end up liking the experience and I become immersed. And that’s when I wonder: was that side always in me and I just discovered it? Is being around these kind of personalities affecting my desires?

Another example is when I am around artistic and creative people. Even though I have this characteristic already and I am very grateful that I do. I still find myself at times enjoying that side of me more, when I am surrounded by people who are more creative and more artistic. I am not talking about being encouraged to be creative. I’m saying that somehow, my creativity increases by itself. I don’t know sometimes where it is coming from. It just does. It amazes me what I am really capable of and I like what I see.

On the other hand, an example of a side of me I do not like; is when I am around negative, ignorant, angry, even disturbed people. I am known to be compassionate towards people in general. I try to fix people all the time. I choose to see the best in them. I choose to believe that they can change and become better and it is my duty to do the work. Don’t ask me why I feel the need to do that, all I know is that I have always been this way. So what happens during this process is scary. I go from being compassionate, to being very patient, to being frustrated, to being skeptical, to being mad at myself, to giving up completely, which results in me being negative and angry. That is when I see a side of me that I wish I never had. I never knew I was capable of being so angry. My blood boils to the point I feel I am going to explode. Why I let things get to me so much and I know better. I involve myself in the situation so much that it becomes a part of me. I take on more than I ought to sometimes. I make people’s problems, my problems …. Like I don’t have enough of my own ..

When I am around certain people whether I know them or not. When I am in a surrounding where I need to be loving, caring, and nurturing; I find myself taking on this role without thinking; without hesitation. That is when I am around my immediate family, my best friends, kids, my love. I find myself behaving and acting naturally. I am very protective and I give unconditionally. Times like these is when I am at my best. This is part of the core of who I am. I was made this way. That’s what I choose to believe anyway. And maybe that is why more of these situations occur in my life, so I can constantly fulfill that side of me. The side that keeps me alive. I live to help others, to make others better, to create a positive change in people’s lives I encounter. That is my destiny I believe. And so I live it to the fullest. I just need to learn when to let go, when its time to let the things that are out of my control just be, and not let it affect me in a negative way.

I may have different sides to me. It’s what makes me .. ME .. Some I am aware of, some I keep on discovering. It depends on the stage I am in, the people I am surrounded by, the experiences I find myself living, to put it simply; LIFE. Yes. Life happens, it keeps happening, and all I have to do is just live it. With its craziness, with its unpredictability, with its surprises, and most of all with its lessons. Life is but a bunch of lessons we are to learn. Each lesson is an opportunity for us to become better individuals. And when we are better, we are capable of doing better things, to better more people around us, to have a better life. I am not stating a wish or a fairy tale. This is the objective of life. But we always allow the reality of what is surrounding us to cloud our positive nature to change. And we start to think: yeah right … Like I will change this world … Impossible.. And that’s what most of us say and so we accept our current doom and bring it into our future. Luckily, there are those who decided to change the world and with that attitude, their names live on forever and their works are never forgotten and they are the leaders to an optimistic view in life. Names like Mother Teresa, Pope John Paul II, Princess Diana … And so many more. Some had more effects than others. Each made a difference and continue to make it even when they left this world. Nowadays, there are those who are following in their footsteps but maybe unknown to the world. Creating change and a better world has never been by the level of popularity. It’s by the work you do. So if you make a difference in one person’s life … You have already made a difference in this world.

So ask yourself every once in a while: Am I being the best I can be? Do I hang around the right people? Are they bringing out the best of me or the worst of me? Sometimes we do not realize that we are influenced negatively by the people we spend most of our time with. They can be people at work, people in your family, some of your friends, and even at times your own partner.  You must stop and think, do I like being this person? Could I be different? And if you figure out who hinders you from being the best you can be, then it may be time to either limit your dealings with this person or cut them out of your life for good.  If you are not able to make them come to your side of goodness, then walk away before they destroy what is left of you.  I lived this for some time and I noticed the change in me.  I listened to those who care about me as they were able to see the big picture from afar.  And when I opened my eyes, I knew I had to walk away to save myself.  And I thank God for giving me the strength and the wisdom to do the right thing.  So please ask yourself, and face the reality even if it hurts.  You will not be any good to yourself or to others around you if you allow negative influences to drag you down. Which side is your favourite one? Which side brings you peace? Which side brings harmony into your life? You decide.

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